Friday, January 30, 2009


I have trouble sleeping this week. I heard voices in my sleep. I had dreams - too many for someone who rarely dream (although daydreaming is my favourite pastime). My eyelids twicthed too many a time. Oh boy, i know i am going to weep - again!

Yesterday morning, i got a call from my beloved aunt, Chu in PG. In between her sobs, she said that she needed to share this with me - my Chik Aya, who is now in PG, on the so-called holiday trip upnorth - is diagnosed of having cancer after going through MRI scan yesterday morning.

For the past 1 year, Chik Aya had experienced severe backaches and there was a 50cent-size growth as hard as bone on her wrist. All the doctors she consulted said that she could be suffering for hairline crack in lower part of her lumbar spine. They prescribed her pills and even after taking high-dosed painkiller, she remains in pain most of the time.

Pak Busu, a neurologist, and Chu, a physician, decided to get Chik Aya to undergo various scannings, bloodtests and physiotherapy in PG. When the MRI result came out, Chu couldn't believe her eyes that Chik Aya got cancer. The bone images look so bad now that we need to find the source of these cancerous cells - fast. Coupled to this, Chik Aya's hairline crack appears at the most vital part of the lumbar spine that any movement that could exert such pressure to the bone, can turn Chik Aya paralysed in lower part of her body. Pak Busu is working hard to find a good, sensible and professional specialist in JB GH so Chik Aya could be treated properly ASAP.

I guess, after a sleepless night for her (and many more related to her by blood), the reality sank in that this morning, Chik Aya hugged Chu and cried - she said she is scared to go through this ordeal. Chu assured her that we will be with her and that she needs to be strong to fight.

Still curious of what could be the source of the cancer, Chu asked Chik Aya if she has any lumps on her breast. To Chu's shock, she nodded yes. My Chu found a lump, as hard as bone, on one of her breasts. Chik Aya told Chu that she has that for almost a year and she did inform Pak Chik Daud (her beloved husband) about it . Pak Chik Daud told her it just be 'angin' so she ignored it.

My heart wrenched now i got my answer to my sleepless nights. Alhamdullilah, we have Pak Busu to break the news to Pak Chik Daud. Chu told me she can't do it for she will just cry. I wonder how will i stand up to such action required of me?

My mom, Chu, Chik Aya and her other siblings grew up without my grandmother, who passed away after giving birth to my last uncle. Chu grew up with her sisters as her 'mother' as my late grandfather never remarried.

Chik Aya is the quietest aunt i ever have (this makes her a difficult patient because it is difficult for a doctor to gauge the symptoms and the medication effects) and yes, the sweetest of all. When i was a little girl, i thought i was like her in personality but I outlived that to be quite a talker ( i do hope i am still as sweet). During Raya Haji, she cooked us Laksa Johore and it was the best. I wonder how she managed to do that (she cooked for the whole clan - her side and Pak Chik Daud's side of family) with the excruciating backaches. The doctor who did the MRI told Chu that Chik Aya is such a very strong lady that others could just be lying on their bed, wailling in pains. It's in the genes - all the ladies in my family are strong mentally, physically and spiritually.

May Allah gives us all strengths to go through this and please Ya Allah, let Chik Aya recover from these sufferings.


zewt said...

May Chik Aya be blessed with healing in His wonderful and merciful ways...

Fi-sha said...

Dear Zewt, thank you so much for your kind prayers..

p.s. As told by my Chu, Chik Aya is in terminal stage of cancer.

The Corporate Athlete said...

Families stay strong .... insyallah can lessen, hopefully eliminate the suffering altogether ..... sama2 kita doakannya.

Fi-sha said...

Dear Bro, how i wish i could be around her and others down in Kota Tinggi - Cheering is my forte. I appreciate your thoughtful advice and kind prayers.