Wonderful Life

There were times when I felt bad just being happy simply because I remember others who were still not. There were times when I felt sad because they are people who feel happiness is something to be jealous about and if they can't have it, so mustn't you. There were times I heard gasps for air when someone says he/she is happy for me - deep down I know they are not. Still, I learn that to be happy isn't about imposing self pity on myself but more of sensing that you still have that dignity, even for simply doing one thing right.

But, there were times when I found strangers who saw the genuine happiness I feel for others, the first thing they want to do when they saw me was to hug me. There were also times when I learnt from others' heartbreaking experiences to realise that happiness isn't mechanical, that it will work for itself, as to attain happiness is more like riding a normal bike 1km uphill for someoone like me [Read; So physically not fit].

Happiness is to be worked on. It is to be understood. It is to be felt with our heart. Like love, it is selfless. Like roses, you'd remember the smell even after they have long gone. It's forever etched in your senses, enabling you to relive it at your own command.

Isn't it a wonderful life?

Prelude to Bersih 2.0: Two Songs None The Richer

A song for the government

ABBA - Thank you for the music

So I say
Thank you for the music, the lies you're telling
Thanks for all the sufferings you're bringing
Who can live with it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be, with a wrong or a prance, what are we
So I say, thank you for the music, for giving it to me

A song for all Malaysians

The Carpenters - We've only just begun

We've only just begun
To live
White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way
Before the rising sun
We fly
So many roads to choose
We start out walking and learn to run
And yes we've only just begun
Sharing horizons that are new to us
Watching the signs along the way
Talking it over just the two of us
Working together day to day
Together
And when the evening comes
We smile
So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow
And yes we just begun
To live
We only just begun
To live

Prelude to Bersih 2.0: To all those broken hearts

Is Bersih 2.0 for the broken-hearted Malaysians? I guess it is for when we are in love - of someone, of some things, of our nation, of our comrades, of our neighbours, of all living things - we care for them. And when we care for them, we always to give the best they deserve. It hurts when we see them being treated otherwise.

Bersih 2.0 is the best shot we could give to our failing electoral and judicial systems. If our DYMM Agung has taken his precious time to calm his Rakyat with his timely edict, I am sure he too has the time to listen to what we feel deep down in our broken heart, in whatever ways possible.

For me, Bersih 2.0 is an emotional rite of passage for a democratic Malaysia. It is a kind of emotional comfort that we have done the best we can NOW for a better Malaysia for our generations to come.

So, I call upon all broken-hearted Malaysians to show your humble solidarity this Saturday. It is time to let your hearts do the talking for God has created humans perfectly that we could sense what others are feeling.

The best anti-dote for a broken heart is to love more, instead of breaking more hearts. So, let's spread love this Saturday!

Fastball's Out of my Head

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then its time you spoke up too

John Mayer's Heartbeark Warfare

If you want more love,
why don't you say so?
If you want more love,
why don't you say so?

Rob Thomas' This is How a Heart Breaks

This is it now
Everybody get down
This is all I can take
This is how a heart breaks
You take a hit now you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
This is how a heart breaks

p.s. to those Muslims, don't forget to do solat hajat and solat taubat before Bersih 2.0.

Prelude to Bersih 2.0: These Boots Are Made For Walking

You keep saying you've got something for me.
something you call love, but confess.
You've been messin' where you shouldn't have been a messin'
and now someone else is gettin' all your best.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you;ll never get burnt.
Ha!
I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain't HAD time to learn.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Are you ready boots? Start walkin'!

Do You Know How It Feels Like To Be Free?

"Only free men can negotiate;

prisoners cannot enter into contracts.

Your freedom and mine cannot be separated"

~ Nelson Mandela

“How can I set free anyone who doesn't have the guts to stand up alone and declare his own freedom?

I think it's a lie – people claim they want to be free – everybody insists that freedom is what they want the most, the most sacred and precious thing a man can possess.

But that's bullshit! People are terrified to be set free – they hold on to their chains.

They fight anyone who tries to break those chains. It's their security…

How can they expect me or anyone else to set them free if they don't really want to be free?”

~ Jim Morrison

"What do we mean by setting a man free?

You cannot free a man who dwells in a desert and is an unfeeling brute

There is no liberty except the liberty of some one making his way towards something

Such a man can be set free if you will teach him the meaning of thirst, and how to trace a path to a well

Only then will he embark upon a course of action that will not be without significance

You could not liberate a stone if there were no law of gravity - for where will the stone go, once it is quarried?”

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

To different people, freedom carries different meanings. Like success and marriage, getting one is easier but managing one is difficult because we tend to start with a wrong foot, wrong reason, which most of the time, is badly reasoned and hardly justified. As a result, we linger in it (success or marriage) for namesake, drifting from high to low points in life, feeling numb; hopeless; careless; and don't-care-less.

Having seen the deplorable living condition for some Malaysians in Batu Sapi recently - thanks to the buy-buy-election - it hurts me deep inside. Unlike their forefathers that fought the battle to bring them where they are now, it seems to me that these people are in worse situation compared to to their forefathers because they have almost lost the spirit to fight for dignity and better life. These are the people who have been denied freedom and they have succumbed to much-hyped myths that their lives depend on the ruling party. Like us all of us, their destiny lies in their own hand. But with continuous oppression and artificially-created miseries imposed on them, it is so easy to surrender.

So,would that be alright for us not to do anything about it since they have accepted their current destiny? If we are a living, breathing human being, who would have felt their miseries (cubit peha kiri, peha kanan terasa sakit), we would do something for them.

And that is why I think the best people to really move these people out of their self-chained destiny is the local people. Instead of just hyping up on sensational issues (sometimes, reading their takes makes me feel like reading UK's tabloids - well, now you know why we are also catching up in printing tabloids, that is to feed people with things to talk about so they could forget their own miseries and later, to confuse them), they should focus on their own people and highlight the issues with proper channel. For once, we should get our act together and get things moving instead of relying on buy/general election to punish the short-term amnesiac politicians.

Some of us would have known how it feels like being free - it's ecstasy; it pushes us to only greater height; and it only makes us more humane.

And that is why The Lighthouse Family's "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free" would be a fitting song for this post. Freedom, like love, is best shared and it is best shared with full morality.

Caca Marba Midweek Break

Yes, it's so caca marba as detailed below: -

1. I revisited "Shawshank Redemption" - one of the most meaningful films I've ever watched, over and over again (though at first I watched it for cute Tim Robbins (hehheh my choice of guys speaks volume - from John Cusack to Tim Robbins. Gee!). It's about real friendships and burning hopes. It brings honour to perseverance. It teaches enjoyment to solitude. It has too many quiet plots, which for me and many more out there who enjoy this philosophical movie, reflect the reality of life - at times, we feel alone, abandoned and rejected but during these down times, we learn to listen to our soul and get to know ourselves better, which later these revealations would assist us to make rightful decisions in life. Like Andy Drufesne, we may have to crawl through our stinkiest moments in life to a brighter one and like Andy, all we need is a little tool. This is a must-see 16-year-old movie!

"Dear Red, If you're reading this, you've gotten out. And if you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further. You remember the name of the town, don't you? I could use a good man to help me get my project on wheels. I'll keep an eye out for you and the chessboard ready. Remember, Red. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well. Your friend, Andy"

~ Andy Drufesne

2. Jason Donovan's "Sealed with a kiss" came back into my life a few months ago. It carries different feeling at my dinosaur age, especially when it comes to the part that, "It's gonna be a cold lonely summer but i'll heal the emptiness". When I was 15, curing loneliness would probably be sulking all summer long. Now that I have grown old (hopefully not a fool anymore), I heal my emptiness with things that scream "I Love Myself" (Read: things that make me simply me!) and honouring people I care dearly, wholeheartedly, by doing things we would do together. Loneliness flies away when I fill my emptiness with things and thoughts that matter. Loneliness isn't a bad thing - when one feels lonely, for me, it means one yearns for something and that yearning should be used as the pushing factor towards what one is yearning for. There's always a blessing in disguise. Let's hope that while we are busy healing our emptiness, we must stop and look out for signs for the end of cold lonely summer is nigh...

3. One of little dreams I have is to set up a children library because I enjoy children immensely (by being a kid myself). Innocent, curious, mischievious (I'd reword it to experimental) and boisterous (full with energy may I say) they are, there is so little choices in getting them great local reading materials. Today (Yes, I am writing this with a big smile on my cherub face), I found Pak Yusof Gajah, who has been nominated (for the second time) for the prestigious 2011 Astrid Lindgren Memorial Award ("ALMA") of Sweden at the Frankfurt International Book Fair. What attracts me to him is philosophy on life and seeing arts beyond sketches and paintings. His books would make perfect timeless gifts for a child!

"People are afraid to dream, he continues, because being ambitious and wanting to be a high achiever is discouraged by a society that thrives on mediocrity. But dreamers should be stubborn – that is what got him to where he is today"

~ Yusof Gajah, The Edge 28 Sep 2009

4. After reading Art's latest posting "The Administration of Justice in Malaysia - A Glaring Misconception" and hopeful Kg Gas' folks, I have John Denver's "Sunshine on My Shoulders" playing in my heart.

Thank God for them - they make my Wednesday!

Celine's Weekend

Good news for Celine Dion - her premature twins have been discharged from hospital early this morning.

So, it is a great cause for celebration here in my blog and if there's just one song of hers to kickstart this weekend, that would be her "Treat her like a lady" along with Diana King.

Have a great weekend everyone!

p.s. Yes, that song is meant for the Government of the Day! Treat her i.e. this nation like a lady because you make a good girl crazy when you don't treat her like a lady! Get it!?

Song for these Buy-Elections

Linkin Park's Waiting For The End

Midweek Break

For the past 1 week, The Guardians has published 2 articles on Love. Yes, Love. The ONLY thing I understand, concurring to what the Great Socrates famously said centuries ago.

Last Wednesday, they published "Love really is like a drug", divulging the findings done by Stanford University, which primarily show that passionate love, like cocaine, could reduce our pains.

So, is love everything we need? I believe so.

But is love that complicated? I thought so too before but not anymore when we found the real meaning of love.

Today, my fave online newspaper, again splashed another story on "Rob Ryan: The artist spreading a little love around our homes" as they interviewed Mr. Rob Ryan on his artworks. They are simply smashing and his works truly epitomise the simplicity of love and the effects.

This is my favourite because I once had this idea of perfect gateaway, too!

Can we, shall we?

One day, very soon

Let us go away together

just you and me

call in sick and go to the sea

and hold hands all day

Eat our sandwiches on the train

get drunk on fresh air

and come home tired

and never tell anyone

.... ever

Perhaps, I should wrap this up with Michael Buble's "Everything". Happy Midweek Y'all!

Say...

I still remember when a dear friend apologised for talking too much when we met because it made me wonder if I had given an impression of great suffering throughout the said meeting.

But, the earnest apology is unnecessary for I enjoy our meeting immensely. It's either I was a good listener (or a teribble conversationalist) or I, too, asked too much (such excesses cancelled them out).

On both accounts, I wished such thought would never crossed my dear friend's mind.

Still, there are times talking too much would only make things worse, irritate the 'audience' and make a fool out of the talker! As such, "Aloof" has been marked on my forehead to some because my straight talking (not street fighting) - which I would rather reclassify as being honest and open - could hurt a soul or two.

Anyway, I am not complaining because we have to say what we need to say and there must be a good reason why we are unable to say them sometimes.

I am called to share this thoughtful song by John Mayer's "Say", a theme song to "The "Bucket List", which perfectly encapsulates my idea of expressing myself.

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say