Friday, January 22, 2010

And Friendship Blooms...

Sometimes, I do feel guilty 'collecting' friends, especially in the arena of Facebook. For me, a friend is someone who has touched your heart, not merely someone whom I have met nor one I have known. Maybe you need to read these quotes that spell out what a friend to me is...

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit ~Albert Schweitzer

The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you ~Elbert Hubbard, The Notebook, 1927

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart ~Elisabeth Foley

If I had to sum up Friendship in one word, it would be Comfort ~Adabella Radici

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable ~Dave Tyson Gentry

The friend within the man is that part of him which belongs to you and opens to you a door which never, perhaps, is opened to another. Such a friend is true, and all he says is true; and he loves you even if he hates you in other mansions of his heart ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Wisdom of the Sands, translated from French by Stuart Gilbert

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had ~Author Unknown

Before I went to The Little Red Dot for some 'cuti-cuti makan angin' program (some envious people think that way), some colleagues, whom i once called friends, decided to give cold shoulder - reason being that I was not senior enough to go there and i was selected because they thought i was my mentor's blue eye girl. It was painful but as I suffer short-term memory, by the time I stepped down on chic Changi Airport, i was completely a new person, ready to absord and experience whatever comes my way.

Then, a week before i came back to this See-Ty, a dear friend, who earlier gave me that cold shoulder, called me. What a pleasant surprise because she never did respond to my few emails and suddenly, i felt good going back. Unfortunately, it was not as good as i thought. Some insecured souls have been making up stories that I had strongly asking some people to get meself promoted (when in actual fact, i wrote a strong email, asking them to do the necessary for my tax clearance in The Little Red Dot, and for them to forward my evaluation form for my 'sensei' in The Little Red Dot to put their feedback - I think i wrote about this before). The funny thing about me is that the harsher people get to me, the sweeter i am to them - yes, thats what i called "Reverse Psychology" or perhaps, aptly call "Sweet Revenge" - hehheheh. Some wonder if i did some cosmetic surgery or if i have found the love (or laugh) of my life there that i was brimming with cheery, glowing aura (thanks The Little Red Dot and those great souls that opened up their hearts, doors and minds for me).

Only after a few week, i started to sense the distance amongst the colleagues and The Biggies but i knew it's coming and i even advised my friends not to go out lunching (not lynching ok hehhe) with me because i know they would get 'tempias' of those people's envious angst. True to meself, i say what i feel straight to the face and someone had her share one fine day.

A few days later, a 'meeting' was convened in the office. They decided to confront me. They said I rarely talked to them (seriously, i cannot get meself into conversations that revolve around 'mengumpat orang', artists, 'who's better than who in the office, who suck up to who', etc. - it's just not me and not about me hating them). My icy looks (when i was serious at work) and my gregarious outlook (when i liaise with my clients especially) , for them, confirmed their suspicion that i hate them.

After listening to their grievances, i asked them this, "If you don't like me that way, why did you inflict your angst to my friend here? If you said she's your friend, why did you all treat her like that?". I think the best part of that "EGM" was that i did make someone, whom me and my friend had groomed to do well in her work, realised about the importance of a friend.

Those people are fair-weathered friends (they joke, do lunch, gossip and all together). They see friendship as a tool to garner popularity and even worse to me, they could have a heart to talk about their so-called friends behind their back. They impose on others to "follow my way or hit the highway and suffer...alone". Unfortunately, for the past 52 years, we malaysians are being moulded into pessimistic, popularity-craze souls that we could not endure such harsh treatment from these people. Sadly, the same game plan wrecks this Ibu Pertiwi to what it is today (well, you may want to read Aliran's "More rhetoric than reality on human rights").

Actually, all i wanted to write here is about new friendships i am blessed with this past month. At first, i thought they accept me as a friend because i was friendly enough to them (as always). At times, i wonder if they would stick around as friends, especially after reading my blog. But God knows best and until now, they are still around as friends - i must say they are true friends just like those being quoted up there.

Ralph Waldo Emerson says, "A friend is one before whom I may think aloud". How true and for that I thank you my friends.

May our friendship blooms, grooms us to be better, stronger.

I'm still in the musical mood and to seal this post, I must share with you Demi Lovato's "Gift of A Friend".


Rahman Marzuki said...

"A friend is someone who holds your hand to help you cross a difficult road only for both to realize at the same time that their hearts have somehow been magically touched by each other the moment they reach the other side.

And even when they already know they can never be with each other forevermore, they will also know without having to say one word that every moment that they can save to be together for however short a time enshrines in itself a special gift from life - the gift of a rare and deep companionship as life's unspoken and simple reward for enduring its hardships, coming when it is time to come, like a special parcel in the mail from an unknown address.

But alas it is already written in life's evolving chapters that even such a friend will sooner or later have to drift away... however not before putting the last life-vest on you so that you will be able to stay afloat in icy waters, so that you will be able to complete the journey, so that you will continue to live your innermost dreams and nurture your fullest hopes to do more of what he has seen you are capable of doing and have done to touch and lift up others around you, to shower love and affection where they are needed the most, to light places which have fallen into darkness, to ennoble life beyond just living. For in his mind, he already sees the gem that is you reflected in the moonlight on the water.

A true friend will never let you flounder nor be lost again, never let you shed another tear except in joy, never let you feel lonely again even without his presence. For only in doing so can he himself find his own inner peace lost in the dark and brooding journey that he has had to take on his own for too long."

(Kram Uw, burmese-austrian mystic, 1956-2009)

bongkersz said...

You are a friend, a good and special person to me, Fi-sha. Although we do not have the blessing to meet each other in the flesh yet, for all this while we are only connecting virtually, but somehow you know you already made that friendship bond, just from few simple messages, virtual gestures. ;)

Friends do not dictate how you should be a friend, what are the things you should do to be part of them. Friends accept you as you are, being blunt and spontaneous when necessary and not making wild assumptions behind you. Friends support each other when crossing a difficult road.

Have a great day and surround yourself with good, positive friends!

Fi-sha said...

Dear Encik Rahman Marzuki

People come and go, so do friends. Nonetheless, the beauty of a moment is in seizing it, and not besieging it. May we treasure that precious moment.

My Dear Bong,

That brought tears to my eyes. May our friendship blooms...