Secret Love - Doris Day

Once i had a secret love

That lived within the heart of me

All too soon my secret love

Became impatient to be free

So i told a friendly star

The way that dreamers often do

Just how wonderful you are

And why im so in love with you

Now i shout it from the highest hills

Even told the golden daffodils

At last my heart's an open door

And my secret love no secret anymore

My Kereta(pi)

I read with so much interest an an opinion by Ms Maizura of Sg. Buloh in The Star today - "Ideas for KTM to consider" and I have to put it here - verbatim - for easy reference by all. Why i loved this? Gosh, at last there is someone out there sharing the same ideas like me and i wonder why KTMB never thought of this simple ways to address their oevrhaul problems and above all, their inefficiencies. Singapore MRT was fined by the Land & Transport Authority for SGD400K due to causing unnecessary problems to its commuters following track problems between Simei and Tanah Merah (1. the team did not plan well causing delay in problem rectification, 2. there were not enough buses to transfer the stranded commuters to the nearest MRT stations).

Come, let's read this: -

"Ideas for KTM to consider"

I read with much interest about problems faced by KTM commuters. I too am a frustrated regular user. For temporary measures, I would suggest some recommendations for quick improvement: -

1. In order for more people to be able to get on a train, KTM should consider to remove more seats especially the old model with two small doors at the end of every coach. I seriously think this is the first step they should do. While waiting for the overhaul budget, they should do this simple thing first. Do use this old model during peak hours because this will cause further delay. Use them during non-peak hours only. (Some malaysians are slow coach and so selfish. They wouldnt move towards the centre of the train, preventing others to alight. Dah la tu...the doors are too small, allowing for one-way, wasting so much precious time. This could also lead to their delayed services).

2. During non-peak hours, after all passengers reach office and before they go out from office (maybe from 10 am to 5 pm), the train interval can be reduced let's say every 30 minutes (but make sure enough announcement about this is made throughout the day and on notice boards). Save some trains later on to cater for commuters who go back from work during peak hours (between 5 pm to 7 pm). (At least, the trains should come every 5 mins.)

3. Reschedule intercity trains (antarabandar) so as not to interrupt Komuter during peak hours. For example, morning trains from Rawang to Seremban often experiences delay because of intercity train that arrives between 7 am to 7.30 am. (I wonder why cant KTMB get their services work like clock? These intercity services too often left me and many others stranded and late for work. So gomen... so malaysian...tak kisah, tak apa... ish...).

4. Make enough announcements to commuters during school holidays or public holiday in only either KL or Selangor to avoid using trains during peak hours. Pity children and babies who don’t feel comfortable and often squeezed by passengers when train is packed. (I even thought they should come up with all-men, all-women, mixed carriages because being squeezed next to a stranger is a nightmare).

5. Expected delay of the following train should be announced before arrival of a train so that people who choose to wait for the following train do not feel regret and frustrated coz of the delay and for not getting on the train before the delayed train. My god! I always experience this. (This announcement thing is a total crap. The announcer sounds like he is mumbling to himself).

6. More fans and seats at the platforms i.e. KL Sentral station and other packed ones. Use seats removed from the trains if budget it again the issue. We already have to stand long at the platform and have to stand again on the train. (This lady is so resourceful..I wonder where she works. Her employer/partner must be so lucky).

7. Upgrading of stations is not so critical and can be put on hold if this can save KTM's money and be used to buy more trains or for train overhaul. (You can tell that KTMB is having all these problems since they started upgrading their stations etc. Not that they are not important but as a businessman, KTMB should think how to improve their train services that generate incomes).

Actually there are many simple things KTM should consider doing. I know that request for budget will take a long time in a government or government-linked agencies so please look into these easier things first. KTM should really take the issues raised by the media and public seriously and show improvement.

So, KTMB, buck up please. Dont keept telling us your problems. Instead, solve it. (Gosh, tak larat la dgn BN-ism culture..takde duit, tak jalan). It is not rocket science. And one more thing, get your people on the ground la. Just like your house, you cannot neglect its maintenance works or else you will encounter many problems, which are beyond your controls.

However, my excitement was cut short after reading that RapidKL is to study effects of removing subsidies after the government announced that it would no longer enjoy the subsidies, thus prompting it to increase its fares. This current gomen is proven in its deep slumber, insensitive that those that use public transports are mainly from middle to low income groups. Even at today's rate, i can say it is damn expensive. To some people, the whole idea of going to work in KL defeats the purpose of going to work in the first place because you are working to pay for your transportation costs. It is so disheartening.

YB Ong Tee Keat, i thought you are different and smart enough compared to other BN MPs. When the gomen can bail out ghost-town PKFZ at the tune of RM4.6 B, i am sure the gomen can give more subsidies to our public transport operators. All buses should get to buy subsidised fuels as they help to cut down traffic congestion and are more environmental-friendly.

Anyway, it is difficult to make this gomen understand. In fact, some of you guys too because you never have to use the public transport. Do i sound like I am jealous?

Antara Api dan Air

These few weeks i have been reading about RE. It is so interesting. Who says we need to depend so much on fuel, gas and coal for our energy consumption? Malaysia has a lot of waterfalls, rivers for hydro energy. Our country is located along the Equator Line so solar energy is abundant. I wonder whether TNB ever think outside the box to R&D alternative source of energy. Imagine if we could get all those skyscrapers in KL and those factories turn into mega-photovoltaic plant, we household consumer could pay TNB less for electricity.

Selangor State Government has announced its intention to take over the water concession companies in the state as to lessen the burden of its people. Alhamdullillah. It is the first step to stop these companies to rob us, the people, in the broad daylight. Imagine... we pay handsome sum of water bills to SYABAS and all we got is a yellowish water. Is that fair? Could i bring this matter to the Consumer Tribunal premised on SYABAS' unsatisfactory services rendered? Wei, how come water costs so much in Malaysia when our country is blessed with plenty of rainfalls and huge water-catchment areas?

I personally think that all malaysian utilities companies are inefficient. We pay more for their inefficiencies to manage their assets and liabilities. Streetlights at my area are switched on and off at 6.30pm and 7.30pm. How inappropriate. Sometimes, they were left on till the mid afternoon. Gosh, there goes my assestment to Majlis Daerah Kuala Selangor - paying TNB's inefficiencies while a long stretch of road from Puncak Alam to Shah Alam is left in the bleak darkness because the housing areas are yet to complete and thus, there is no one to pay for the streetlights. Ish! Merapik sungguh!

I got my first Indah Water last month and i don't intend to pay. I need to study about those pipes and sewerage system in my area and I need to find out where it leads to and how come all these while, Indah Water never came into picture? I can still see the river near my area is still as murky as ever before. Nothing is free in this world and especially for Indah Water, which i doubt so much. Imagine collecting RM48 semi-annual from every house without doing anything. That is a lot of money collected you know...

I hope Selangor State Government will find a sound financial model to adopt in taking over the water concession companies. I hope the state government could get a good rating, so the capital costs will be lower, especially now that their transparent corporate governance. Insya Allah. Pedulikan apa Shaziman nak cakap. Taktik kotor BN asyik nak takutkan rakyat.

Irrawaddy Delta and Sichuan Province

Last September 2007, I watched the Myanmar monks demonstrated on the streets of Yangon in protest to the miliatry junta government imposing drastic increase in fuel prices. It was reported that the government decided to cut the fuel subsidies to go ahead with its plan to move the administrative capital to another place.

On 2 May 2008, Cyclone Nargis strucked Irrawaddy Delta and killed possibly more than 300,000 lives. Cyclone Nargis (Nargis means Daffodil in Urdu) is considered the 7th deadliest cyclone of all time. Irrawaddy Delta is densely populated and is Myanmar's biggest rice producer. And now, the world is experiencing global food prices crisis. How timely...

A few week ago, I watched a documentary about Chengdu - a beautiful place to live in (it housed Dujiangyan Irrigation System - the famous ancient water diversion system, which is still in use and is a UNESCO World Heritage Site), with booming economy, one of China's biggest agricultural producers, in the process of turning itself into a metrocity. However, in the name of development, the town council decided to take over certain old properties in the heart of Chengdu and turn them into an entertainment. These properties with alleys crisscrossing them are the image of Old China. While some agreed to sell, some stay put (as the compensation for these inheritance is too little to share with many siblings) and live to bear with loud musics at night. Some change their lifestyle - stay awake at night (start businesses to cater to those club-goers) and sleep during the daytime.

In Mar 2008, tibetan rioters took to the streets of Lhasa, to protest the influx of chinese Han (the biggest chinese ethnica) into Tibet, which was claimed by Tibetans to have destroyed its culture. 10 people were reported killed.

On 12 May 2008, Sichuan Province, where Chengdu is located, experienced 7.9 richter scale earthquake (19th deadliest earthquake) and it claimed more than 60,000 lives and still counting. 2,065 km away from Chengdu, Beijing is preparing to host its Summer Olympic on 08.08.08. How timely...

I watched on TV tonight that China is seeking Japan's military assistance following the Sichuan earthquake. Alhamdullilah, i hope they will put their wartime past to end - on a humanitarian basis. How timely...

Things happened for reasons - and I hope for all these sufferings and losses, for all bleak memories and unforeseen future, people of Myanmar and China will grow stronger. For us the unaffected lots, perhaps these are our wake up calls. Do not inflict others what you do not want them to cause you. Be good and think good. Help willingly without asking anything in return. After all, we are all of the same race - human race. May the departed souls rest in peace and may God bless the survivors. May God gives strength to all those unsung hero and may God guide those in power so this world could be a better place for all of us...

Of wedding, nasi beriani, tapai pulut and kuih suji

Any kenduri in my grandfather's house back in my hometown Kota Tinggi ("KT"), Johore, means a marathon of cooking-cleaning-eating marathon. I was back in KT last weekend for my cousin's wedding. Hers was agreed upon in the shortest period of time - circa 1.5 months. In spite of that, everything went on smoothly. Alhamdullillah. My Mak Long and Pak Long will definitely feel her absence as my beautiful young cousin hardly leaves house without one of them. She will follow her husband to start a new life together in KL, where her husband is working. My Chu (youngest auntie from my mom's side) said perhaps Allah has made everything easy for her in this matter for she accompanied Keno (he was adopted by my grandfather during his early teen years after he was diagnosed with tuberculosis and his parents apparently abandoned him. He is in his 70's now) for Keno's medical checkup, checking on his medications and monthly trip to the bank to withdraw Keno's pension.

That statement makes me pondered in silence - was i not good enough to other that I am still unmarried? However, that negative thought flew out the window as i regained 'my conciousness' that I am who I am today for me to serve better cause instead of getting hitched, at this point of time. Of course, i want to get marry one fine day (the weather has been thunderous so far hehehheheh.weather forecast in malaysia is so unreliable). Anyway, as usual, the million dollar question popped up too often, my rebuttal bank almost dried out of idea to counter such curiosity. One joke i made was that my groom was left stranded by Sheikh Muszaphar at ISS. Last year, i told them i was waiting for Pak Lah (Selisih malaikat 44 P). My aunties were making jokes of me, asking me to get hitched while they are still strong to help and cook kuih kacau. Those jokes kept us awake till late at night even after heavy-duty cooking.

We also had tapai pulut for dessert. I told them that the air tapai is good for skin just like SKII. They were laughing that they rather not put that on as it will attract ants and their face will get swollen. So, isn't that great - instant, enviromentally-friendly botox treatment? hehhehehehhe... By the way, i forgot to try one (the tapai not the ants ok ;), so i will make a point to experiment it on myself in near future... Ill let you know of the outcome, ok? But let me tell you that our hands were almost free of wrinkles after handling those tapai. I was told by that to prepare tapai is not easy. The person who is preparing must be clean - physically and spiritually and the glutinuous rice needs to be washed till the water become clear. Only then you can get a perfect tapai pulut. They say a woman cannot prepare it when she is having her menses as the tapai will turn red. I wonder what is the chemistry behinds it.

My uncle from Penang told me that i look young when we met last weekend. Yippe! I was over the moon because i hardly use any face cream and i rather spend my money on others than facial treatments. He thinks it is in our genes as he remembered telling my auntie how young my mother looks like when my aunt brought him to meet my parents - that was 20 years ago. Alhamdullilah. Well, it is not that I want to look young but I like to show others that if we feel good about ourselves, we look good.

The chef for the wedding was my uncle. So, we had sumptious nasi beriani with ayam masak merah, daging and kambing masak beriani, dalca and acar rampai. A great granduncle of ours was a cook with the Johor Palace so it is natural that he is a great cook too.

My auntie made kuih kacau suji - one of my favourite traditional kuih. This kuih is so ancient that you would not find it in any other house except my grandfather's house (Well, that is what people complained - it is such a rarity). Hence, it is most sought after during the wedding. Everyone wanted to sample some and perhaps, bring back to relish it more. My auntie used more than coconut milk from more than 60 coconuts, tens of sugar and tepung suji and cooked them over slow fire. After such tender loving cooking, the taste of kuih is so heavenly. My mother asked me and my cousins to learn from my auntie as she does not want this tradition to die with her generation. Insya Allah. Apart from Laksa Johor, various kuih kacau are one of classic Johorean cuisine.

I had an enjoyable weekend and now back in The Little Red Dot, I am nursing aching limbs as if I have trekked in the jungle. Where's my painkiller?

10 Quotes on the Joy of Motherhood

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.-- Agatha Christie (1890-1976), English novelist and playwright.

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. You are connected to your child and to all those who touch your lives. A mother always has to think twice: once of herself and once for her child.-- Sophia Loren (1934- ), Italian motion-picture actor.

We are together, my child and I. Mother and child, yes, but sisters really, against whatever denies us all that we are.-- Alice Walker (1944- ), American author and poet.

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's.-- Princess Diana (1961-1997), Princess of Wales from 1981 to 1997.

There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness. The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way.-- Andrew Jackson (1767-1845), seventh president of the United States (1829-1837).

When a child enters the world through you it alters everything on a psychic, psychological and purely practical level.-- Jane Fonda (1937- ), American motion-picture actor, political activist, and writer and producer of exercise books and videos.

If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much.-- Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis (1929-1994), wife of the 35th president of the United States, John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.-- Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), American newspaper columnist and author.

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.-- Meryl Streep (1949- ), American motion-picture actor.

The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.-- Barbara Kingsolver (1955- ), American author.

Mother's Day

People who have met my mother thinks she is fourty-something (even when I was 12 walking alongside my mother, people thought we were sisters - oh my!) and once told that she is 58 going to 59 years old, they said that she is, then, a retired government servant (because she always look well-dressed with soft-looking hands as though she never did houseworks and that she has an indonesion maid to do all).

Let me introduce you to my beloved mother. Her mother (may her soul rest with Allah's beloved people) passed away hours after giving birth to her 14th child when my mother was only 10. My grandfather never remarried till he passed away last year - at the age of 91- a week before i was supposed to start working in The Little Red Dot. Having such a big family and for worrying that his daughters will leave him if they get educated, my mother never went to school. She and my other aunties were taught by my grandfather after he came back from his office. She could be more than just a housewife if she went to school. My youngest auntie grew up to be a doctor. Still, I am so fortunate she is my mother.

For the lack of formal education, she quenched her thirst for perfection in everything she does. My grandfather never remarried but he always dressed up immaculately because my mother was the one responsible for his laundry. I could never keep up with her standard in doing laundry and ironing. Until a few years ago, I asked her to iron what is necessary only as i wanted her to rest more. Otherwise, every cloth in the house is ironed (including the underwears). I made a mental note - my mother hasn't got the energy she used to have and for that, i did not allow my mother to take care of my nephews even at the price of my sister quitting her job.

Her cooking is phenomenal. When we were small, we never buy things because we would never get anything as good as hers. My uncle, who was smitten with my mom's karipap sardin and telur when my aunt brought him to see my parents for the first time, queitly wishing my mother will serve karipap whenever his family came around our place. For my 5th birthday, she singlehandedly prepared so much food and my favourite kuih koleh kacang. Our house was thronged with so many people (for her delicious foods) and i had my best birthday party ever. I learn how to cook dishes at the age of 10 when my mother gave birth to my youngest brother (as it was not easy for her siblings to come all the way from Kota Tinggi to care for her). Ever since that day (01121984), i got hooked to cooking (my stress-reliever and problem-solver). Then again, I could never beat her cooking though I've mastered how to cook and clean at the same time because she hates to see things lying around her immaculate kitchen.

Being a Virgo, my mother is a perfectionist as reflected in her way of running her house. My relative even told my landlord that in my mother's house, you can even sleep in the bathroom. You could never find anything in her sink or dryer - everything is dried right after washing before putting them back where they should be. My sister and I learn to fold our clothes in exact manners and sizes she told us. My sister and I were denied playing time when we hit 9 years old because she wanted us to help her in the kitchen, hanging the clothes, watering her garden etc. At times, I cried under my bed asking why I have endured all these chores while my friends were happily playing 'masak-masak' under the tree.

I am glad I did all that since nowadays, not many women know how to run a house. As a human being, I learn how to give my best in everything I do, how to be kind even to your enemies, how to persevere, sacrifice and love - wholeheartedly and unconditionally. I am glad I have a good heart - still not as good as my mother's.

I am becoming like my mother, in a way or two. Since working in The Little Red Dot, my time at home is so limited ( I don't even meet my friends since then), I learn to do so many things and get them done before 12.30 pm - the lunch time. My mother is so strict that if possible, the kitchen should be spick and span after that time. Before I go back to the Little Red Dot last week, she cried while hugging me - she pitied me for cooking so many dishes for her and my father ( I don't want them to eat out often), for 'spring cleaned' her garden, for cleaning her windows etc. I was taken aback. I had done this for months only while she had been doing for her family for many years. That made me sad because I wish I could say that to her too when i was small how much i appreciate her.

Having lost her mother early in her tender age, my mother sometimes think she has not been a good mother. She missed her mother for a mother is indeed irreplacable. My mother told me that my aunt (the doctor) used to write in her book that "without a mother, the world seems like without a sun" when she was a little girl. I believes my mother looks younger than her age because after doing her best, she leaves all to Allah, who knows what is best for her and her family ("Tawakal"). She never see mounting chores and responsibilities as burdens but those are her ways of expressing her unconditional love and care. Her ablution or wudhu' plus her Oil of Olay are her anti-ageing boosters. Perhaps, that feeling pushed her to be a good mother, when she is the best mother ever. I know she will never read this but I hope her pure heart will receive this message, just like we used to do - our hearts are connected to each other.

Happy Mother's Day, Mak...

Pangea Day

There is always a good reason why things happened the way it is. I went to sleep very early last nite circa 9 pm and woke up (for the second time) at 4.30 am. This was unusual to me. After freshened up, I switched on the TV and there was this brazillian movie with an old white man, a black teen and a dog. AFter 5 minutes, it stopped and my attention was brought to LIVE telecast of Pangea Day.

What is Pangea Day? Why would people all over the world congregated in souls to this event and some, if they were in Patna, Mumbai, Egypt and Singapore, denied themselves a good nite sleep?

In 2006, filmmaker Jehane Noujaim won the TED Prize, an annual award granted at the TED Conference. She was granted $100,000, and more important, a wish to change the world. Her wish was to create a day in which the world came together through film. Pangea Day grew out of that wish. Pangea refers to "One World" and its first event this year on 10 May 2008, it is a global event bringing the world together through film. Why? In a world where people are often divided by borders, difference, and conflict, it's easy to lose sight of what we all have in common. Pangea Day seeks to overcome that – to help people see themselves in others – through the power of film.

As mentioned by Karen Armstrong, one of TED's winners for 2008, in her speech, every single one of the world's major faiths believes that "We should not do to others what we do not want others to inflict on us" and that "It is not sufficient to just extend your compassion to those in your own group; you must take it to out to others as well."

Yonathan Shapira (an ex-Israeli Chopper Pilot, who witnessed children from Israel and Palestine died in and from his chopper) joined Bassam Aramin (a former member of Palestine Resistance Fighter, who lost his beautiful 10-year old girl Abir to Israeli soldier in front of her school) in "Combatants For Peace", who have renounced violence to try to find a peaceful solution to conflict in the Occupied Palestinian Territories. In the meeting of the organisation, former enemies, who have lost their loved ones listen and talk to each other to understand and strive to see past their tragic pasts by focussing on their common humanity.

I cried throughout the remaining 1.5 hours except when we joined Dr. Madan Katarai, the founder of Laughter Club, for one minute LOL.

You may say that I cried because I am a natural cry baby. Today, let me tell you this. If you don't know how to cry then you are not truly human. Pinch your right thigh and your left thigh will even feel the pain. That is what a human being is all about. We might not go through the hardship, but we feel it because another human being is experiencing it.

So, I wonder what happened to the heart of those people in power in Malaysia. To Hishamuddin's, Najib's and SIL's mothers, how do they feel seeing their offspring behaving like one today? Are they proud? If i were theirs, I would feel very heartbroken and I will try to do something to make a stop of what is becoming of them.

Talking about defection by BN's MPs to Pakatan Rakyat, now I feel that and we should look at it that these defected MPs finally come to their human senses and try to make right of what is left from their lives. They better be. Quoted from Jehane "By sharing, we turn strangers into friends".

The people in power may bring us down through many existing draconian acts but they may never bring down our desire to make better for all human beings they want to call Malaysia their "TanahairKu".

As Gandhi said "There is no way to peace; Peace is the way".

I wish I am a better human today and the rest of my life....

A good government medical doctor - at last!

I accompanied my father to Hospital Selayang for his final checkup before his minor surgery to his blocked urethra (as a result of kidney stones) on 02052008. I will try my best to make a point to follow my mother and father to this hospital because from our experiences (in this hospital and HUKM), the service was so bad - merely because my father is a pensioner and thus, my parents get free treatment at government hospitals.

My mother had 2 minor operations to release her trigger-finger symptoms on her left hand on 2 different occasions. Everytime she visited the clinic, she never got to see the same doctor that saw her the first time. even after the surgery, the doctor who operated her never checked on her fingers. For the first surgery, the stitches were only taken out after 2 months - marking too long a recovery period and after the surgey, instead of one crooked finger, my mother had 3. She cannot bend 3 fingers and that really affected her in holding things. I made a lot of noise complaining to one doctor requesting to see the doctor that operated my mother for i wanted a good explanation why this happened. No doctors dared to come forward. I told the doctor that just because my parents paid nothing, they do not have the rights to cause such discomfort to my mother. Plus, how could the doctor who operated a patient never examined his / her patient post-op? ish pelik la... these people do not fit to be a doctor. After months of physiotherapy, my mother regained improved movements to 2 fingers except the little finger. So, she had to undergo another op to rectify the problem but the problem persist. Now, the Master i.e. senior specialist is looking into her problem and hopefully, she could use back her little finger. You might wonder what a difference it makes if we could not flex our little finger. A lot - trust me.

My father was fortunate. Dr Cyril was a kind hearted, responsible doctor (handsome pula tu) and I pray that my father is in his good hands. He profusely apologised to my father for not using the general anasthetic (GA) when he examined my father (putting camera through my father urethra) and caused my father pains. He told us that in UK, where worked for 10 years, require GA for such examination but he was shocked to be informed by his colleagues in Hospital Selayang, no GA is required for cost cutting purposes. No wonder he is so different. He studied and worked in UK. Not that I want to belittle our local-trained doctors, but I am yet to find one as good as those trained abroad except for my aunt and my schoolmates, Dr. Raha and Dr. Ellyza (these wonderful ladies were trained in USM).

He has eye-contacts with his patients, recognised his patients by face, called them personally to his clinic (nurses were such slow-coaches) and tried to relate to the patients. Knowing my father was an ex-army personnel, he said that "we have something in common then. My father was in the army too". His father was an army doctor.

Dr Cyril, thank you so much. May God bless you and your loved ones always. May God give you strength and courage to continue to be a good doctor to many more. May God protect you.. always!

Stop NS

They say you will only know how much you could love someone when you have your own child.

I could never imagine how these parents feel seeing their child being sent home in a coffin after spending time in NS camp. To make things worse, the camp management has the guts (ada perut tapi takde hati) to say that they never thought the illness was serious. Plus, the doctors at the hospital told these heartless NS people that this so and so can be discharged as it was not serious and hours later, these kids died.

One NS official even suprised that one girl died after shooting session because the shooting did not cause any harm. My mom, being a wife to an army personnel, told me how painful her chest was after she tried shooting at the lapang sasar during a family day. I bet the impact was so hard it could have affect that poor girl's heart. Wei..mana dia post-mortem result? Make it public la! Such cowardice act!

Imagine if the dead NS trainee was a son or a daugther of our minister, MP and VIP, I bet they will stop this useless program STAT. Then again, these people are so rich they send their kids overseas or with enough muscle in certain ministries, their kids managed to skip NS without being summoned. So, how many more lives to be taken before NS put to a good end?

I personally think NS is one of many ways for a ministry to give free money to ungrateful, selfish people. Tell me one good thing about NS and let me tell you 10 bad things about it. When can we stop this practise of money-making through suffering of others? These young people are our nation's future, not the government's guinea pigs or just part of the statistics.

We do have choices

"Yes, they might be criminals. And they may be criminals out of choice. But life never really gave them too many choices. Some turn to crime out of greed. But many turn to crime out of sheer need and desperation. And these are the faces I saw in prison, faces of people whom life offered not many choices. But then one of these faces may be the last face I see. One of these faces may be that of the one sent to do the evil deed of those who feel I have brought the spotlight back onto a murder trial that was almost buried and forgotten if not for the article I had written" - Uncle Pete (09052008)

After reading Uncle Pete's article today, I decided to mellow down on my dislike towards policemen. Fear and distrust lingers in the air whenever they are around just because they tried to tackled me while doing their duties. And the way they stared at you made me feel naked and insecured. Yes, i trust my instincts more than i trust people especially policemen. How could they protect me from rapists? Even Lawyer Haris Ibrahim was arrested / harrassed for holding a candle light vigil in Dataran Merdeka. Who should we go to when we need help? Should we go to them? Instead, we might be told that it is our mistake that such cruelty/robbery happened to us and it happened to others too. So, why bother lodge a police report? Hmmmm...

Sometime last year, as my brother was driving me to my sis' place, he told me that his housemate was arrested by police after 2 groups of teen fought near his burger stall over a girl. Someone was stabbed. Police was called to the scene. Apparently, the boy who stabbed is a son to person connected to powerful people in the police force and his group made stories that my brother's friend was the one that caused the fight. My brother's friend was remanded at a lock-up in his underwear and the police did not even bother to contact his family.

My brother was trying to help him but every time my brother and his other friends went to the police station, they were asked to persuade his friend to confess and settle the case for lesser punishment. I met my brother's friend before and I felt so sad and helpless but I told my brother to contact the parents so they could help. His friend didn't want them to tell his parents out of concern not to worry them as they are not that rich and they have had enough problems in the family.

After almost a week spent in the lock-up, eating rotten food (no jokes) and sleeping on the floor amongst many others in a small area, his parents came to the station and argued on what basis was his son being arrested. The policemen told his father that he was suspected to cause the fight that resulted in one boy being stabbed and now hospitalised. His father was smart enough to raise the issue on any witness to the fight and of course, none came forward. To cut long story short, my brother's friend was released (with no bail) as the policemen did not have prima facie to charge him. The father said that he will sue the police force for such wrongful arrest but the policemen chuckled and said that he can try and in the end, he will only get RM1.

After a week absence from work, he was fired. I am not sure if he has a job now. Such an injustice. He was manning his burger stall to earn more money so he could get married to someone he loves. He lost his job and his burger stall. Above all, he lost his love too.

I am sure there are many wrongful arrest, just like our Uncle Pete and my brother's friend. How long are we going to allow this to happen?

As told by the prison warden, Sungai Buloh Prison is overcrowded (every offences are criminal ones - easy job for them while getting these people to be tried, perhaps, 5-10 years later) and understaffed (too low a salary yet physically and emotionally demanding work).

Though some are very much corrupted (under pretext that they are underpaid, which is true) and inhuman (lack use of brain), some do not have choices but stay in the force to earn their living. Someone told me back then that surveys were made on policemen and their family. It is not shocking to find out that many of their children ended up in negative activities and performed badly in school because these kids were fed by their parents from 'sumber-sumber haram'. Until their parents break away from such practise, this cycle of life will go on for generations to come.

I passed by Sungai Buloh Prison on my way to work back in Malaysia. Many of the staff quarters were in the dark i.e. no one lives in these quarters. I was told that many left because the salary does not commensurate with the kind of commitment, demand and risks these wardens have to face everyday.

Even a good man will be at the edge of turning into a bad guy because if you cant beat them, join them right? I work with an organisation with majority of the staff having government-servant mentality (low productivity, too many tea breaks, no accountability, the government owes them their salary and inspire to retire with the organisation) and I know how difficult to work around these people and many times, I feel like giving up but Alhamdullilah, I still have faith that one day I could make some changes and make them see that we are working for the people and thus, we need to safeguard their interest with high integrity. I vow that I should not allow fear to stop me from doing what is right and just.

I pray that the prison warden (that persuaded Uncle Pete to agree to bail) and many others out there remains strong and May Allah bless them and their families. Doa orang-orang yang teraniaya makbul... We do have choices to bring justice to life - to the detainees and the good policemen and prison wardens. Let's start now.

Alhamdulillah

Uncle Pete is released on bail today. Alhamdullilah. I couldn't help myself but shed tears at my cubicle especially after reading his article "Thank you so much and sorry for letting you down" (http://www.malaysia-today.net/2008/content/view/7156/1/).

I thank Allah for giving him strength and courage to go through the ordeal in Sungai Buloh Prison. I am so grateful that Allah has opened the inner eyes of many people in the prison - from both side of the law - that they have helped in a way or two 'guiding' Uncle Pete in such place, controlled by corrupted forces. The prayers from all of us have been answered by God.

As usual, I love conspiracy theories. And I know Uncle Pete wont' be safe in there. If they could do so many things to DSAI, they could do the same to Uncle Pete. Then again, I thought Uncle Pete decided to be remanded in that prison so that he could 'negotiate' those 3 'unidentified species' to tell the truth on what happened to the late Altantuya (may her soul rest in peace). After reading his article, it was on different note altogether.

Allah knows best. Uncle Pete's ordeal unites us (those who read comments in Malaysia Today will notice how 'brutal' and 'critical' some people could be to Uncle Pete) and we now know what we need to do to bring down the corrupted power in the name of justice for all. Adil itu meletak sesuatu pada tempatnya...

I know Uncle Pete is resilient enough because of the presence of Aunt Marina. A man can do anything if he has the support and love of someone that loves him unconditionally - in a positive light. A great woman makes a great man. A great mother raised a great man like Uncle Pete. A wife makes a great man a great father to great children.

Uncle Pete, please have a good rest. Aunt Marina, this coming Mother's Day will be a memorable one as you have someone that makes you a great mother - in your loving embrace.

Alhamdullilah...

Uncle Pete

I was restless in the office, almost close to tears. My heart was beating so fast and my palms felt all sweaty. They were all because of what happened to Uncle Raja Petra Kamaruddin. I wonder how is he doing at this very moment. And I could not imagine how his beloved family feels like facing this adversity of being helpless when your pillar of strength, your beacon of love and care was put behind bars for a trumped-up charges of baseless sedition.

The Star was kind enough linking "Sedition Act 1948" to their reporting on Uncle Pete. Wei... 1948... is this act still relevant? Even the definition of seditious in the act seems very subjective and open to abuse. That article - Let's send Altantuya's murderers to hell (http://www.malaysia-today.net/2008/content/view/6604/84/) - is not fictitious but factual basing on legally binding Affidavit of ARB. I guess those people 'who eat the chillies' are seating on hot seats and perhaps, after reading Uncle Pete's response to 'an unidentified species' (I dont regard them as humans or animals) press statement, they got their stupid acts together to 'silent' Uncle Pete and others. They are wrong (yet again, they always do wrong, it's in their blood) for they will pay not only for their future but also for their many generations to come.

Malaysia Today followers managed to raise more than RM5K to help bail Uncle Pete till the hearing scheduled in Oct '08. Uncle Pete, always a fighter with ever-crystal clear conscience, denied himself a bail for a reason he knows best. They treated him like a dangerous criminal - handcuffed and escorted left and right. He will be spending time in Sg Buloh Prison. I will miss his "No Holds Barred" and "Corridor of Power". Malaysia Today will be so different...

Prayers of my fellow Malaysian brother and sisters are with Uncle Pete and his Family and not forgetting En Syed Akbar Ali, to give them strength, courage and hope. Let's not despair in the light of such injustice. Let's work together to 'cleanse' our judiciary system and police force. Rise and Shine Malaysians! Stop all this nonsense we have suffered. For once, let's be brave to fight for truth and justice - not only for us but for all of us, Malaysians and our friends who come from far to earn decent wages to feed many mouths back in their homeland.

Uncle Pete and Aunt Marina, doa orang orang yang teraniaya makbul. Amin 44x...