Thursday, April 10, 2008

I have a crush - Ops!

I thought crushes only apply to teens due to raging hormones. Oh boy... I am wrong because I am 34 and I am having a crush on someone in the same office - phews, hes is from another department. Again, at this age, I might be having hormonal imbalance instead...hehehehhehe

I started noticing him after our department moved to another section of the building as a result of organisation restructuring. I started noticing him every time he goes to "Gents". Yes, he has to pass through in front of our open-concept department every time he has to release himself of those nature calls. That fact excites extremely because he will pass by at least once a day. And i have more opportunities now to have a look at him (sideway) every time I have to retrieve some documents from the cabinet and every time I need to go out from the office. Conclusion - I could see him every working day!

The few first weeks i had my eyes on him, we tend to bump into each other - quite often - mostly around lifts and doors. But I was stupid enough not to look at his fingers - Yes! for any wedding ring residing on the right finger. Now that the feelings grow stronger, I am dying to know if he is married. Yesterday, on my way out, I made a point to check his finger as he was talking on his mobile. None. Nothing glistening seen from 10 metres away. Yippe! hehehehhe. But then again, not all married men wear their wedding band right? Oh God please, let him be single and available, please...

So, why do i have a crush on him? A stranger of another race, another religion, high rank personnel (so must be well paid since this is one of the megabanks in the world). Well built, tall, well dressed. He cannot be so unmarried right.

I like him and I dont know why because I never talked to him and i only got to know his name 2 weeks ago. And one night, I cried for him. It suprised me that I didn't cry for him to take notice of me but I want him to get well soon and have strength to do his important works. And I want him to be happy because I could see that he was looking stressed, with one hand on his head as if he has this throbbing hard headache but he needs to concentrate on what he is reading. My heart felt for him.

Today, he seems ok. After lunch, he went by my place thrice. Huiyo! Bonus! One - for a meeting and another two to the "Gents". As you are well aware, I am having a bad cough and when i cough, I cough wholeheartedly and loudly. I didnt notice him as I was talking to my colleague and then, I started coughing badly. I looked up and I saw him turning his head, looking and smiling at me!

I think he noticed that I looked at him and smiled afterwards. He noticed that I wasnt in the office for a few days and after I came back I was coughing wildly. On the day I came back to work, I saw him walking and suddenly stopped in front of me before turning back and walked out of the office. I coughed at this end and i heard him coughing on the other end.

Going to work is a bliss nowadays. He is my inspiration to work and learn hard. Too bad, my days here are now numbered. I wish I saw him earlier.

It is good to have a crush. It definitely invigorates your inner feelings for a stranger who you have keen interest even without knowing his name or even talking to him i.e. I still have a chance for to love and be loved. To grow beyond this crush, how I wish. He's from my favourite place - The Land of Rising Sun!

No comments: