Paulo Coelho's The Witch of Portobello

1. What is a teacher? I'll tell you: It isn't someone who teaches something but someone who inspires the student to give of her best in order to discover what she has already knows (Pg 93).

2. ..Like all the women in all of us, who protects us when we are in danger. She will always be with us while we perform our daily tasks with love and joy, understanding that nothing is suffering, that everything is a way of praising creation (Pg 142).

3. After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me, But love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefile, it's sleepless nights, asking yourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. real love is composed of ecstasy and agony (Pg 156).

4. Groups are very important because they force us to progress. If you are alone, all you can do is laugh at yourself, but if you're with others, you'll laugh and then immediately act. Groups challenge us. groups allow us to choose our affinities. Groups create a collective energy and ecstacy comes more easily because everyone infects everyone else (Pg 184).

~This precious book is a gift from CT~

Counting Days...

I got back from a week-long leave when En AH called me into his office. He asked me if I am interested to undergo one-year attachment program with one of Japanese's megabanks. I have been waiting for this opportunity as I wanted to get away from the office. There were things in the office which irks me professionally. Despite his attempts to 'scare' me that I will need to submit reports during my program there etc., I couldn't stop smiling and I didn't care if by stating my interest in the program, I could deny this opportunity to a colleague, who used to be close to me.

Weeks before that, I received emails from my ex-colleague ( for the record, H was the first person that guided me through my first few weeks in the company), who a year before that was sent to The Little Red Dot for the same program. He told me that he had nominated me and my colleague to HR to pursue the same program for the next one year. I thanked him profusely because I knew I will be the chosen one (for the record, as the company is trying its best to cut costs, it is better to send a single staff, which despise me a lot as though I was selected because of my singlehood, not my competency).

Two weeks later, I was verbally informed that I was the chosen one and I was so over the moon. But with that great news, people around me in the office stayed away from me, even the one closest to me. I was sad. Rumour has it that I got it because of my close relationship with the big boss, En MN. They say I am his blue-eyed girl. For the record, En MN is my 3rd Mentor in my professional life. Trained as an engineer and having worked with Shell before joining the company, his standard on works is high and to many, it is annoying. He gave me hard times and pushed me to the limit but he is the one that showed me i am capable of achieving great things. I could talk to him like I am his daughter (he has 2 sons), his devil advocate and his confidante about his life aspirations. Gosh, I miss him.

My last weeks in KL, i was like a stranger to almost everyone. They are good at making people feel bad. Thank God the makan-makan was held when I was so busy and En MN managed to 'tone down' about my departure during his speech, as you know, nobody wanted to hear that.

Now, I have been here for close to 9.5 months and I am feeling sad to leave. Things are getting better in the office. I could help CT, ZW and YH and they know I can do my works fast and 'neat'. I am learning about Renewable Energy.

I look forward to go to work because I know there is someone that inspires me to work hard, come to work on time (for the record, his name is SY).

My landlord told me that he prayed the company will extend the program for at least another year and he doesn't have to find another new tenant (for the record, he will reduce the rent by SGD50).

I have friends who confessed in me for what is in deepest ridges of their hearts. I learn to accept them for all the positive sides they have. I learn I don't have to agree to everything. I learn to strive for something or someone I cherish. I learn to love my family wholeheartedly. I learn to love myself.

Two months to go and I suddenly realised I have so many things yet to accomplish.

Makkal Osai! Makkal Sakti!

Alhamdullilah... Home Ministry has made a U-turn to its disastrous decision that today, Makkal Osai's permit has been extended after an appeal.

I hope the Ministry has come to its senses that freedom of speech is inevitable and another bad decision made concerning our Indian brothers and sisters e.g. demolition of a temple in Klang, isn't good for the current ruling government.

Alhamdullilah, I am sure now more people will read Makkal Osai to find out what make it ticks. As stressed by the company's management that the press will continue to be sensitive to Indian Community issues and will remain to be a responsible media.

I watched TV3's Bulletion Utama tonight and i felt like vomitting my roti-canai dinner. I heard comments from Info Minister about pig-rearing mega-project in Sepang. Why on earth we need to listen to him talking about something which is not under the ministry's purview? No wonder RTM remains backward as the Minister is busy talking about pig-rearing project.

Then, came ex-CM, who believe in him eating tempe gave him high-bridge nose that started growing this last 1 year, that the current Selangor State Government should first get a public hearing on the said project. LOL... He approved the project after sending his team of people holidaying in Germany visiting pig farms there and now saying that the current state government should do that. I think he is having a mid-life crisis or perhaps since losing in the last GE, he is suffering from amnesia. LOL...How about this? His nose grows as he lies? LOL...

And TV3. This station is having a multiple personality disorder. Gosh, they still talk rubbish and still as stupid as they used to be.

Anyway, let's dump that dumb minister, the dim-witted ex-CM and the rubbish TV station somewhere faraway. Cheer for our brothers and sisters in Makkal Osai!

Makkal Sakti! Makkal Sakti!

Escape to Huang Shi

I watched that movie tonight with a friend from work. Gosh, I missed my "En Bloc" and "Bersamamu" but I cried still.

It was a movie about a British Reporter, George A. Hogg, who went to Nanjing to scoop war news when reporters were not allowed by the Japanese soldiers. After almost losing his life and lost his 2 friends in front of his eyes (shot dead in their heads), he was suggested by a Chinese Bomb Expert (played by Chow Yun Fatt) to head for Huang Shi where he will be able to learn some Chinese words and recuperating from wounds. There, he found 60-odd boys, who had lost their family members to the war between China and Japan.

What I like about this movie is that George taught these boys that we shouldn't inflict what we had gone thru to others. Instead of hatred, he sow seeds of love. I learn from him that though you do not have your own child, you could always be a father or a mother to any child if we put our heart into no matter how difficult things could be. Isnt it wonderful if all teachers have this attitude?

Sometimes, people become so individualistic even after they become parents. They guard their offsprings like some precious metal but they dont bother about other kids. In their pursuit to protect their offsprings and make them smart people, they instill many bad influences on their offsprings and hurt feelings of others along the way.

I may not have my own child but I feel as much as a mother would feel for her child.

Of Doctors and Ministers of no Attitude

I believe strongly that someone who wants to be a doctor and a minister should sit for a attitude test. These professions require ones with mountain heaps of compassion, lightning speed of analytical thinking and the ability to speak the right words at the right time to the right people. These people have the lives of many people in their hands.

A minister responded during a press conference that he would cancel permit to Konsortium Bas Ekpress Semenanjung as there have been 3 accidents involving the company's buses. The latest accident caused a life of one army personnel perished and the bus driver was reported to have obtain his licence 2 months before the accident and he was speeding when the accident happened in the early morning on its way from JB to KL. I take the service of this company so often since i am working in The Little Red Dot since the seat is so comfy, plying the route frequently and is the most reliable in terms of departure time. I could not imagine if the permit was cancelled. What would happened to hundreds of people working for this renowned service provider? They would be jobless and what would happen to their families who depend on them for their livelihood? Cancelling a permit does not solve the problem. Find the root cause. I would reprimand the JPJ personnel who granted the licence to the said driver. I would fine the bosses of the company for employing such ruthless young driver and for not paying enough for his service that he had to speed to reach KL so that he could get enough sleep before driving down back to JB early in the morning.

Another minister decided not to extend the permit for one Tamil daily for breach of guidelines and the minister did not inform what are the breaches. 100 people are jobless now.

A stroke of a pen could turn these people's life upside down. How could these ministers be so heartless? The first minister said that he used to be a 'teksi sapu' driver. Has he lost touch with the reality of how hard his life was back then that he could not think how his decision could affect detrimentally and unfairly so many lives? The second minster was born in rich family. So, he wont know but then, he never make any attempts to understand what life is like for people across the other side and yet he's an elected MP? Those people who allowed him to win the election are answerable.

I know many people out there have the "tak apa' attitude - If it doesnt affect me, why bother. I cant be like that. I know how hard life is even for a grad like me. What about a bus driver and a clerk? It is even harder for them. I do not wish to start lamenting about doctors. I have a friend doctor and i know a few people who are 'killed' by wrong prescriptions and not being treated on time.

When are we going to have the right people to be our doctors and ministers?

I have a crush - Ops!

I thought crushes only apply to teens due to raging hormones. Oh boy... I am wrong because I am 34 and I am having a crush on someone in the same office - phews, hes is from another department. Again, at this age, I might be having hormonal imbalance instead...hehehehhehe

I started noticing him after our department moved to another section of the building as a result of organisation restructuring. I started noticing him every time he goes to "Gents". Yes, he has to pass through in front of our open-concept department every time he has to release himself of those nature calls. That fact excites extremely because he will pass by at least once a day. And i have more opportunities now to have a look at him (sideway) every time I have to retrieve some documents from the cabinet and every time I need to go out from the office. Conclusion - I could see him every working day!

The few first weeks i had my eyes on him, we tend to bump into each other - quite often - mostly around lifts and doors. But I was stupid enough not to look at his fingers - Yes! for any wedding ring residing on the right finger. Now that the feelings grow stronger, I am dying to know if he is married. Yesterday, on my way out, I made a point to check his finger as he was talking on his mobile. None. Nothing glistening seen from 10 metres away. Yippe! hehehehhe. But then again, not all married men wear their wedding band right? Oh God please, let him be single and available, please...

So, why do i have a crush on him? A stranger of another race, another religion, high rank personnel (so must be well paid since this is one of the megabanks in the world). Well built, tall, well dressed. He cannot be so unmarried right.

I like him and I dont know why because I never talked to him and i only got to know his name 2 weeks ago. And one night, I cried for him. It suprised me that I didn't cry for him to take notice of me but I want him to get well soon and have strength to do his important works. And I want him to be happy because I could see that he was looking stressed, with one hand on his head as if he has this throbbing hard headache but he needs to concentrate on what he is reading. My heart felt for him.

Today, he seems ok. After lunch, he went by my place thrice. Huiyo! Bonus! One - for a meeting and another two to the "Gents". As you are well aware, I am having a bad cough and when i cough, I cough wholeheartedly and loudly. I didnt notice him as I was talking to my colleague and then, I started coughing badly. I looked up and I saw him turning his head, looking and smiling at me!

I think he noticed that I looked at him and smiled afterwards. He noticed that I wasnt in the office for a few days and after I came back I was coughing wildly. On the day I came back to work, I saw him walking and suddenly stopped in front of me before turning back and walked out of the office. I coughed at this end and i heard him coughing on the other end.

Going to work is a bliss nowadays. He is my inspiration to work and learn hard. Too bad, my days here are now numbered. I wish I saw him earlier.

It is good to have a crush. It definitely invigorates your inner feelings for a stranger who you have keen interest even without knowing his name or even talking to him i.e. I still have a chance for to love and be loved. To grow beyond this crush, how I wish. He's from my favourite place - The Land of Rising Sun!

Weepy Wednesday

As I blogged earlier, I make a point to watch "Bersamamu" on TV3 on Wednesday.

And today, I realised another TV Series make me weeps like a little girl losing her pet cat - "En Bloc" on Mediacorp's Channel 5. It has Mr. Patrick Teoh, our own Malaysian actor (happened that he was also the guest actor on NTV7's "Actorlympic" tonight!) acting as the father, who is at the cross road about selling his home sweet home under the En Bloc sale. Tonight's episode touches me to the bone as he talked about the purpose of having a common corridor in the old residential area is to bring alive 'kampung' spirit so that people could mingle along - just like in a kampung. My mother always says that a home has its own soul, reflects the aura of people who lives in it. It is always hard to make first few steps of selling a home sweet home. I can put myself in Mr. Lim Beng Teck's shoes - I am selling mine too so that my parents could be nearer to my other siblings and their grandshildren. I, myself, feels deep inside that I may not live with them for long - whatever that means.

After watching that TV series, I wept thinking of someone - I could see him wearing his white tshirt underneath his office shirt because it is so cold nowadays and he isn't in the pink state of health (just like me). I wish he will get better soon, feel warm enough so it would be comfortable for him to do his important works. I wish him well and i wish he could feel how i feel for him now. I suprised myself for crying for a stranger.

Next, came "Bersamamu". What touched me to the centre of my soul is to see how a mother's love could make all things possible. She scavenged through rubbish late at night with her 2 kids, trying to find boxes, cans, tins, bottles etc for her to earn RM30 for a 2-night hardworks, so she could put food on the table for her kids. I am so thankful that her kids understand and do something about it. They helped her and realised they need to study hard to change their life. I am sure they want to get a good life, not just for themselves, but foremost, for their parents. Her daughter prays for God to forgive her parents, amongst others. I was shocked. I think the mother must have told her that they are living this hard life because of their sins. May Allah opens the doors for them - of forgiveness, of blessed wealth and intelligence, of grateful love and happiness and of course, of strength to go through each day.

2 nights ago, i was switching channels when i landed on Mediacorp's Suria Channel malay drama series. The plot shows a teen confiding to his grandmother (happened to be Allahyarhamah Yusni Jaafar - May Allah bless her soul) of reasons why he returned to his hometown. He had arguments with his elder brother and he now wanted to start his new life in the kampung. What the grandmother said to him amazed me to how true it is. Here goes: -

You can always choose your friends and neighbours but you cannot choose your parents and your siblings as they are gifts from God. You have to look at them more to appreciate them and love them. How could you neglect the Gifts from God?

I am still crying...

Pakatan Rakyat

My heart skipped a beat

Tears trickled down my cheeks

Yet I was smiling

Rejoicing in silent - in my super-quiet office

I'm the only Malaysian

Yet I feel like I am with all other Malaysians

Standing tall, standing proud

Relishing this moment

Pakatan Rakyat is finally formed. Alhamdullilah. I am so proud of leaders of DAP, PKR and PAS for making this a reality in my lifetime. I would never be able to imagine the changes they adopted especially DAP and PAS, which are 'macam langit dengan bumi' . Indeed, anything is possible if we put our hearts, minds and souls into it.

Tak terbalas jiwa dan raga

Terima kasih dari lubuk hati saya

Kini rakyat sepakat kata

Pakatan Rakyat harapan semua