Ma, Pa, I'm Old Enough

Ma
Remember when I first came into your life
Remember when you broke the news to Pa
With tears in your eyes
With prayers in your mouth
With overwhelming hopes in your heart
Fingers entwined
Ma and Pa now you are

Ma
Remember when I gave you those little kicks
While you were waiting for Pa after work
Sitting on the bench overlooking Baskin n Robbins?
I wanted you to know that you were not alone
To have a scoop or two chocolate mint ice cream
While you reading through those pages of yet another book Pa couldn’t find time to read
While Pa driving through the traffic so both of you could get me a little cot

Ma
Remember when people asked you to close your eyes
So I won’t have to see how bad, sad and dangerous the world out there
When pristine land and its people had to make way for a mega dam
When a little boy walked with his hands in that welfare house
When a little girl asked for a penny or two by the road side
When a policeman chased yet another Anti-ISA Vigil crowd
When another young man was found dead in the lock-up
When another group of animals were badly treated and kept in the zoo
When Pa had to climb up the Black Maria on his way to the Police Station while he fought for sanity and sanctity of this country
I did remember I suck my thumb really hard, trying to pacify myself
Telling myself I won’t make you cry
When I grow up, I will make this world a better place

Ma
Remember when I was too quiet in your warm womb
That you almost forgot you have a wobbling, expanding tummy
While you cook up those dishes for Pa
After putting your laundry in the washer
After writing a piece or two off your forever-tinkering mind
After another long day at work, in your world
I thought you don’t have to coax me
To be a well behaved one
So you could still be a Superwoman

Ma
I would always remember
During those kicking, thumb sucking and quiet moments in your tummy
I have learned to learn, listen and reason
From those emotions you felt
From those words you uttered
From those steps you took
From those actions you made
That I shall I come into your world
With hopes and responsibility
With a clear identity of humanity and humanity alone
To love and to hold
Everything that is dear and sincere
Though with tears, never with fear
For fear is only for God alone

Ma
Thank you for believing in me
A little soul residing in your womb
Is old enough to learn from you

Last Saturday, I watched an interesting Nippon TV Series “I’m Old Enough”, about 2 pairs of little children (one is just 2 years old) running errands for their loved for the first time. Amazingly touching, these sweetie pies took their given tasks seriously, taking cues from their surrounding, even when their shin bled carrying heavy bags.

"The essence of our effort to see that every child has a chance must be to assure each an equal opportunity, not to become equal, but to become different - to realize whatever unique potential of body, mind and spirit he or she possesses" ~ John Fischer

Instinctively, Mak and I had an enlightening talk about children – how they were when they were still in the womb makes who they are today. Our children’s life script has been written while they are in their mother’s womb. Most parents think they should focus on development of their baby’s intellectual quotient and most of the time, they disregard the fact that they too should pay attention to emotional and spiritual growth of their little bundle of joy.

While we think they learn from those books we read, those music we make them to listen, it’s highly probable that they learn more from their parents’ actions and emotions – thanks to their powerful senses God has given them.

So, it is not surprising to see someone of good ‘breed’ could turn out to be a cold-hearted, hot-blooded, inconsiderate moron because they spent 9 months and 10 days in such a hostile environment that the parents hurling offensive words, taking from others what is not theirs, lying through their teeth and being cruel to others.

Truth enough to that Japanese series I watched and will take time to watch every Saturday evening on TV3, I could hear them saying, “I’m old enough”.

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today" ~ Stacia Tauscher

Dulu APCO, La Ni CCP?

It is alarming to read APCO’s brother-in-arms, UM(Ph)NO has signed a MoU with CPC of China on youth leadership exchanges so that the youth leaders of both countries can have a better understanding of the economic and social development taking place in Malaysia and China.

Following the footsteps of our giant step-brother Down South – one of the 3 Asian Tigers (roooooooarrr) – Adnan Mansor thinks such exchange is timely considering China is now a major economic power. It is indeed a plus-point but in which way would it impact our economic scene? As of now, China's FDI in Malaysia can be seen in Bakun Dam I project and Jambatan Kedua Pulau Pinang. So, are we going to have DIA too there, thus, transfering our money out again in time of plummeting FDI, wilting local market and death-bed budget deficit?

Adnan Mansor added that CPC is “amazed with our achievements and racial harmony and would like to learn from us how we were able to attain this harmony without any bloodshed”.

Really meh? Wallawweee!

You may find this piece of news interesting if you don’t know what happens in Tibet and China's repression of free expression and press freedom.

Don't get me wrong, this post isn't about trying to 'bludgeon' Chinese people, who are undeniably one of the most resourceful, resilient and smartest people, but when a political party like APCO's brother-in-arms inking such understanding with that type of China's ruling party, phew, it's stinking fishy because why do they have to go on political ground? Why not on G2G basis?

And if China's ruling political party is acceptable to UM(phhh)NO tastebud, perhaps our Government should reconsider allowing Mr. Ong Boon Hwa (Chin Peng) to come back to his Tanah Air for one last time.

Gloomy days are ahead of us people. Watch out and reach out, please...

p.s. Gosh, I cannot imagine a day withOUT Google!

Thank You Bo...

~ Official portrait of Bo, The First Dog, at South Lawn of his home sweet home ~

Bo was there beside Mr Obama’s 49th birthday, yesterday. Mrs Obama and Sasha are on vacation in the Land of Catalans while Malia is away for her Summer Camp.

Thank you Bo for the company to the man, who carries the biggest responsibility on this Globe. I know he is kind of screwed up expanding his troop number and stay in Afghanistan but I do hope you could enlighten him with him your great traits, especially independent, agile and intelligent, so he won’t take same path taken by his evil predecessor: -

Portuguese Water dogs make excellent companions. They are loving, independent, and intelligent and are easily trained in obedience and agility skills. Because of their intelligence and working drive, they require regular intensive exercise as well as mental challenges.

Because they are working dogs, PWDs are generally content in being at their master's side, awaiting directions, and, if they are trained, they are willing and able to follow complex commands. They learn very quickly, seem to enjoy the training, and have a long memory for the names of objects.

Though very gregarious animals, these dogs will typically bond with one primary or alpha family member. Some speculate that this intense bonding arose in the breed because the dogs were selected to work in proximity to their masters on small fishing boats, unlike other working. This is not a breed to be left alone for long periods of time, indoors or out.

As water dogs, the PWD's retrieving instinct is strong, which also gives some dogs tugging and chewing tendencies.

For "Semuanya OK Kot" - My Antidotes

The Cranberries' "Liar"

I will run, I will fight,
I will take you through the night lie, lie, liar,
I will run, I will fight,
I will take you through the night lie, lie, liar...

Eminem Feat. Rihanna "I love the way you lie"

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Snow Patrol's "Run"

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Home Cooking - My Way of Life

Since my parents decided to spend their time babysitting (truth is they spoil my Third Angel to the max) for the past 10 months (Ahmad Fitri Rusyaidi now learns to stand up on his own, much to his self-inflicted pains, bumping his well-rounded head on the floor), I did not allow Mak to cook. Yes, you heard me because most of the time, people downplayed me staying with my parents, that I have things easy and prepared for me. Bo Hoo!

Well, Mak has spent so much time since she's 9 in the kitchen - cooking up the storm. As a result, I, too, bore her brunts that no girls should go and play in the morning because they need to learn how to cook. There were times I spent hiding under my bed, crying in silence as I had to forgo playing 'masak masak', 'rounders' and 'getah' with my league of friends.

Shishhh, I digress - as always.

So, I forbid Mak (hehehhehe like I told her to stop ironing everything and anything when she reached 60) to cook. The first couple of months, we ate, mostly, take-aways and urghh, they sucked (especially to me who could detect MSG too easily) and most of the time, those food found their way into our bin. Such a waste!

Slowly, we cooked during sunday a dish or two for the following week. Kept in the freezer, Mak would heat them up. Lately, we have upped our 'production', cooking a dish or two for each weekday of the following week. Imagine opening you freezeer full with food of various tastes and colours. And also imagine me standing for hours (tutup kedai pukul 2 pm every sunday) - shishhh, they arent't really caloric-burning activities sadly.

No. I am not complaining for all the works and time I have to spend cooking - cooking is my mental therapy (ops, I'm quite a psychic nor psychotic OK)!

In fact, I would like to praise myself for taking up this way of life, which has showed me food indeed could bring the family and the loved ones together at heart when you cook with your heart and soul (I love Kylie Kwong's latest series).

I love the way everytime Mak asks me to cook this and that (yeay! I have more Brownies' Point from my mommy!). I admire Ayah's determination to buy the best ingredients (for the past 37 years, Ayah took helm at 'pergi pasar' department and Mak - she's the Queen). I share with my sister in law on tips to cook - fast and for a blast! I never forget to cook something or two for my brothers, especially my youngest brother (in case, he comes over on Sunday). For me Little Angels, I always ,make sure I keep my larder fully equipped for a pie, a tart, a cake or puddings - anytime of the day!

Apart from the joy of serving people I loved, cooking for them comforts my soul (smile, pray and share while cooking makes me feel I have transferred all my love and devotions to them), softens my heart (i'm more forgiving and understanding) and makes them closer to me.

Apart from natural goodness home cooking could offer my loved ones in terms of health (less sal t, less fat, more greens etc.) and hygiene (did you know that more malaysians suffer from TB due to eating at places served and cooked by foreigners?), I think I save more money. Yippe!

So, when was the last time you cooked for your loved ones? Try it, more often and see the difference yourself :)

No More ISA, No More Pains

I didn't go and lit a candle for ISA Abolishment Vigil last Sunday night but as I was pressing the iron on my shirt, amidst heaps of black-and-white-ruffled shirts, my tears just rolled down my chubby cheeks. It's a sign - a resounding SOS from those all over our Ibu Pertiwi upon them being harshly treated as LSF and those Cowards in Blue started to disperse their peaceful vigils.

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts" ~ Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860

As I have learned over years, crying is not a sign of regret but it is indeed a sign of thankfulness for God is Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, to allow us to have this iota of conscience during these turbulent years of our Ibu Pertiwi. For me, crying is a sign that your heart is still working, your conscience is still burning bright and your plight is worth fighting for.

"Tears are God’s gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow" ~ Rita Schiano, Sweet Bitter Love, 1997, published by The Reed Edwards Company

Re-reading painful memoirs by ex-ISA detainess just makes me resolute that we should continue fighting such draconian Act and other inhumane laws and actions despite we all could smell Ops Lalang II is well under way, based on tell-tale signs, if you read our Ibu Pertiwi's history for the past 60 years, that is.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much" ~ Mother Teresa

Months ago, my youngest brother would tell me that he's sick of DSAI sensationalising stories about his Ibu Pertiwi. After his unlawful 5-day stint in the lock-up, I asked him again - do you still feel the same? Do you think we all should fight against such cooked-up charges? Do you think those Ulats at Puduraya deserved to be beaten, mauled and humiliated when you know how our MSM potrayed a different story (making up stories) about those Ulats? Because of those Ulats, I am re-opening my Red-Book Campaign. No one deserves to be locked up for no material reasons. As for my youngest brother, he's a changed man now.

"I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders" ~ Jewish Proverb

Would You Believe A Man That Deserts His Family?

"Character is higher than intellect" ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Would you believe a man that deserts his family, no matter how smart he seems to you? It's like believing Rosmah is indeed a good woman.

What do you make a man who would comment on anything to anyone but not saying anything to his own family? That's sounds like a coward to me.

Be damned with that man!