Little Things We Do...

They say little things we do tell who we really are as a person.

If we want to change the course of this nation of ours going, we ought to change the way we behave on roads, amongst other firsts, apart from stop wasting food at all functionsl and using and keeping our toilets clean.

I take public transport and I love walking. DBKL put thousands traffic lights all over the city and I love punching those buttons that make your cars stop so I, some aunties and uncles, some students with heavy bag, some little kids could cross the road safely. Yes, safely because we have alerted you drivers," Excuse me sirs, madams, in big, flashy cars, we are about to cross to the other side of the road. May we?"

But you drivers refused to do so. So, I would make my point and walk slowly like 'itik pulang petang' but you drivers don't really care because you insisted that I make way for your car so you could reach home 2 minutes earlier. At times, I put my life at risks, some times at the verge of death really, standing in the middle of this 5-6 metre-wide road, looking at you sinisterly. Still, you refused to budge.

If you saw a 'girl in pumps' standing in the middle of the road holding a paper that says,"Where did you get your license to kill", that's me and I beg you drivers to behave yourselves.

If you could lose your judgment and senses over getting home early by a couple of minutes, if you feel that you're the only one that matters, if you think you deserve all the rights to do what you want to do, my God, I don't know how long this nation have to suffer more due to your erratic behaviour on the roads!

Glee says "Don't stop believing" and I say "Stop right now!" before it's too late...

For Your Heart Only...

"A Case of You"

"Shape of My Heart"

"Turn The Light Down Low"

"At Last"

Their Problem is Everybody's Problem

For this post, I would like to borrow TM's tagline - It's good to talk.

Too many times, we see that most people tend to just remain silent when there is definitely issues to be raised, ideas and feelings to be shared because we do not wish to be seen as 'mengada', 'tunjuk pandai', too sensitive, 'gila glamour', etc. But whatever bothers you as a normal human being is also a trouble for all of us human beings out here. So, when you feel there is a need to say something, please do.

I like to tell myself that there is no such thing as stupid questions. Too often, those who are not asking are the stupid ones themselves.

I remembered one comment I got after writing "I want my money back" from an anon blogger that says, "As a blogger, I can’t stand it that unnecessary tension or scare is created for no apparent reason to the public". I believe the said blogger is happy with what he has to today. Thank you God for that but how could he or she feel so when there are so many people out there who still live in misery?

As a blogger, is he or she trying to say that those being posted on the Net are meant for people who could access the internet (meaning they have free time to surf and all)?

"Articulating the situation - even if it can't be fixed - frees you to focus on the most important item on the agenda - [that is] doing your best work" ~ Frances Cole Jones

I beg to differ. As a blogger, I try to make as many people understand what really happen out there and start people talking and thinking. Blessed are the nation where the fortunate ones set aside from their pocket to share with the less fortunate ones, not because they think it is cool to do charity but because they know it is their responsibility to protect the underprivileged.

If you have watched Fahmi Reza's "10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka", you could see that the fight for this nation's Independence was spearheaded by lower and middle class people that formed a unified political left movement comprising PKMM, API, AWAS (Angkatan Wanita Sedar), Batas (Barisan Tani Se-Malaya), MDU (Malayan Democratic Union), Putera (Pusat Tenaga Ra’ayat), AMCJA (All-Malaya Council of Joint Action), PMFTU (Pan-Malayan Federation of Trade Unions), MNDYL (Malayan New Democratic Youth League), Geram (Gerakan Angkatan Muda).

When I attended SABM's Roadshow in KLSCAH, I threw my 2-cents to SABM on how are they going to make SABM appealing to lower and middle class people , especially those who cannot understand English, since, from my observation, those people who took time to attend SABM's roadshows are those of privileged class and educated lots. I asked them how about those people who are not when they are the ones that are prone to be abused, misused and misled by people in power. After that, Mr. Victor Chin, a great artist, asked me if I am a welfare officer. I told him I wish I am one but I am not but I would like to take any opportunity to raise their predicaments. I got even more worried after hearing to one lady asking about the privacy of votes we cast because they fear that their votes for justice and fairness may cause discomfort in their lives - thanks to those insecured people in power. So, i stood up again and asked, "If these people are scared to vote those they believe could make this nation a better place, what about others that rely on people in power to earn a living?". If Uncle Zorro and Mr. Duke were there when I opened my big mouth, I might get an earful from them. Ouch!

After the roadshow, I met the beautiful and brilliant Sharada, a graduate from LSE, and her aunt. She understand where I am coming from when I shared my 2-cents. She said that she couldn't convince her colleagues enough to attend SABM roadshows because they say they are not racist. How true - educated people do not feel threatened by racism. But how come we still have racial spats in this Ibu Pertiwi?

The problem with us educated lots is that we know yet we don't care much about those don't know about their rights and continue to be suppressed by the people in power. We tend to stay in our comfort zone, being self-centric lots.

I cried watching that short film by Fahmi Reza because I feel like I owe Pak Cik Yahya Nassim, Uncle Lim Kean Chye, Pak Hashim Said, Pak Majid Salleh and Pak Cik Zainuddin Andika a delayed victory to a fight they started 63 years ago.

I would like to share an excerpt from Fahmi Reza's interview with The Sun here, that I really hope would make us feel inspired to do something for these true blue Anak Bangsa Malaysia: -

"Jacqueline Ann Surin:

I know you’ve spoken about how Lim Kean Chye was initially quite resistant to do this interview until he had interrogated you. Did you have a sense that the others were also resistant, and why do you think there was this kind of resistance, at being interviewed and having their stories documented?

Fahmi Reza:

First, for one of my interviewees, I think it was quite painful for them to recall what happened. Because, some of them had put all this behind them. They never engaged in politics after they were released from prison. So, it’s a dark period in their life.

This is my tribute to people who fought, they struggled. These are regular people. It’s different classes but mostly from the lower classes - the children of farmers, fishing folk, small traders. So, they really sacrificed for independence. So, for them to be arrested and detained, and when we got independence, it’s not the independence that they wanted, the Merdeka was not pure, and this was not the independence that they fought for. So, they feel disappointed that their struggle that they started has not been completed.

That’s what I felt from them.

When I wanted to ask them questions, too, it was difficult for some of the interviewees. They failed, basically. They wanted something but they failed. But their failure is not because of their mistake but because of colonialism at that time, British rule, with the help of well…that’s the other thing they were disappointed about.

Because for the first time, if you look at the hartal, it was moving towards creating this new bangsa (nationality). Because at that time, that sense of nationhood did not yet exist.

The thing that I find amazing is that they were able to see the divide-and-rule policy that the British imposed on them, and they fought against that. The Putera-AMCJA was a manifestation, for the first time in our nation’s history, of the different races getting together and uniting. And the hartal was truly bigger.

If you look at the People’s Constitution, they wanted to give birth to a new bangsa. They were conscious about breaking the Malay-Chinese-Indian racial categorisations. They wanted a new nationality, regardless of race.

One other thing I learnt from my interviews was that at independence, what was born was a nation, not a bangsa. That’s why we have this problem today of having three main races, when actually we should only have one, Bangsa Malaysia.

And their mentality was different. If you talk to Lim Kean Chye, race was not in their consciousness, which is very strong today. I think the unity that they talked about was not about race. It was more about class. It was about uniting all the people to go against the British to fight for independence. So, we could have been something different than what we have today.

What's Inside That Matters...

Some people have their wish list in finding one they want to spend the rest of their life with. Like animals, most of us tend to go for physical attributes in finding one to propagate and assimilate. Some men go for fair maiden with long black hair with luscious lips. Some women seek tall, dark and macho men. These people long to have their Prince or Princess Charming. Little did they know that their Prince or Princess Charming wish list could instead be Prince or Princess Harming wish list!

I found this interesting article “The Number One Thing to Look for in a Partner” that says if you prioritise finding a partner who is sexy, smart, charismatic, successful-in-their-field, you could end up in Charles Manson, Ted Bundy and Mussolini!

In this article, you would find about “The Psychopath Checklist”, used by criminal psychiatrist to test the potential of someone being a hardcore psychopath, capable of committing repeated evil and violent crimes. Guess which traits psychopaths share? Glibness, extreme charisma, the need to always be doing something, feelings of high self-worth, pathological lying, proneness to boredom and emotional unavailability.

“Values provide perspective in the best of times and the worst” ~ Charles Garfield

The article points out one of top traits to look for in a partner – that is an appealingly strong character. Good character values not only come in handy on a day-to-day basis, but during those eventual, inevitable times of conflict. If you and your partner do not value putting in the effort of acting with strong character values during times of disagreement, disappointment, stress, crisis, temptation, sadness, monetary-challenges, illness, vulnerability, misunderstandings — then your relationship will always suffer!

John Gottman, the famed psychologist and researcher who runs The Love Lab, says he can predict how long a couple will last, not by studying how well a couple gets along, but by studying how well a couple doesn't get along. A relationship is only as strong as its weakest link - how a couple handles their challenges.

Under Aristotle’s Relationship of Shared Virtue, we will both want to deal with conflict by facing up to it with "strong character values" and viewing it as "a laboratory for growth".

To live happily ever after, our relationship must have a dual function – it should be a "Den of pleasure" - for fun, companionship, sex, laughter, etc. which you as a human need - so you can keep your soul alive with passion and it should also serve as "Laboratory for growth" - the ultimate place of challenge for your soul to be nurtured to grow - where we inspire one another's "character development" – and that’s what Aristotle called true happiness!

“Authentic values are those by which a life can be lived, which can form a people that produces great deeds and thoughts” ~ Allan Bloom

So, do we go for Super(ficial)man or one whom we value Superinsidehim because if we go for the former, we might end up with someone who's rude, angry, dishonest, disloyal, hurtful, non-communicative, unempathic and selfish!

Wow! If you manage to reach to this stage reading my long-winding post, thank you. I truly appreciate your curiosity.

For our shallow-mindedness, quick-unreasonable-temper and laiszze faire attitude towards betterment of this Ibu Pertiwi and its people, I decided to use the analogy of finding our one true love for every single one of us, big or small, young or old, rich or poor, man or woman, longs to find our Prince or Princess Charming. I have wrote earlier about "Politics of Marriage", based on Aristotle's Book VII of Politics.

He says, "A state is not a mere society, having a common place, established for the prevention of mutual crime and for the sake of exchange. Political society exists for the sake of noble actions, and not of mere companionship".

Politicians come and go and what remain and should remain as it is first nobly inspired to be is the party. I am thankful that many YBs with strong values remain true to their fight, which is our fight - the common people, by remaining in line, hand in hand, weathering these days of political turbulence.

Like finding our Prince or Princess Charming to spend our lives with, may we be able to see the noble strong values in those people we entrusted with our support to make this Ibu Pertiwi a better place for everyone, generations to come.

If there's something to steal, steal a zeal!

“Character is the final decision to reject whatever is demeaning to oneself or to others and with confidence and honesty choose what is right”

I wrote somewhere in my blog about Mak’s cousin that carried an enterprising ‘business’ handling Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat’s financial aid application for people with special needs. She told those people that she could help them to get their application approved faster but of course at certain ‘service fees payable'. Still, the fastest approval would arrive one year later. Truly Rakyat Diutamakan!

So, you must be wondering how she could get herself involved in this kind of ‘easy peasy business deal’. Apparently, she has a friend working in that Jabatan, who would provide the necessary information. Mind you, she charged at least RM100 from one application – upfront!

“No people is fully civilised where a distinction is drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse” ~ The Other Half of Madam Eleanor Roosevelt

I used Past Tense in describing her entrepreneurial set-up because she is now in and out of one private hospital with continuous cervix bleeding. She stopped all her businesses like selling things at rocket-high price and of course, charging her ‘exorbitant service fees’ to our brothers and sisters that are already in dire financial needs! Truly Malaysia Boleh!

Why am I highlighting this, again?

Well, you must have read TheStar Metro Central’s “MP Slams Welfare Dept for Slow Action” and now you know I didn’t bluff about this middlemen or Ali Baba enterprise that flourishes in our country, even in our Welfare Dept. If Welfare Dept can do that, tell me please, what do you expect of deep-pocketed Jabatans? Oh, that may explains how an ex (or axed) political secretary of one top man could have so much assets, aye?

“No people is fully civilised where a distinction is drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse”

Moral of the story – never ever take what is not yours, especially from underprivileged people. God is great because for all the moneys she saved from her ‘businesses’ are now being utilised heavily to pay the hospital bills. Still, God is great because He wanted to help by cleansing her ‘system’ from those bad moneys by her suffering from such ailment. My Dear Bong shared his story on "Makan duit rakyat is bad for your stomach".

Our Responsibility To Adik Syafia Isn't Over Yet..

More than a week ago, I saw something worrying.

While waiting for my bus, I saw one Indonesian man standing in front of me, moving from side to side. A moment later, I noticed he started doing some silat movements. At that instance, I retreated to the back of the bench because I knew I had made eye contact with him, which he would translate into, "hey, I have an audience!" and if he decided to do something stupid, I would be his first victim. After some time, others also started to move away from him.

Poor Uncle Prakash, the station master of that bus stop, was busy filing up the conductor's trip card that he did not notice 'the storm brewing'. Suddenly, the Indonesian man ran towards Uncle Prakash and started punching and kicking him. Thank God, Uncle Prakash was quick to defend himself with the plastic chair he had near him and managed to stop that Indonesian man.

My Tok told me I scream and laugh the loudest amongst his grandchildren (whenever we watch horror and comedy movies) but that night, I didn't use that to alert Uncle Prakash. I only managed to give out a sob instead of a scream. Stupid Fi-sha!

What worried me much was the fact that no men came to help Uncle Prakash! Mind you, there were stronger, younger men than Uncle Prakash around but they all chickened out! They backed out like we women.

Thank God, Uncle Prakash was unhurt. He told me later that he thought that Indonesian man was playing around. What if that man had a knife? Oh dear!

When I related this horrific experience to my friend, he said the men, like women, tried to save themselves! And I think we, malaysians, have turned into "MYOB society"! We selfish lots that lost our conscience to self interest!

"Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future" ~ JFK

That's what happened to Adik Syafia Humairah that succumbed to her death after being sadistically abused by her mother's boyfriend! Her grandfather told the reporters he had seen cigarette burn marks on her body before but how could he do nothing about it? Her mother must have notice something but how could she trust her in the custody of that EVIL?

My Mak says that EVIL should be hanged to death and I say, "No, we should flog him to death!"

Though my anger is beyond words, I think we need to look at this tragic incidence - holistically. We are in this together. We had Adik Syafia Humairah's blood on our hands!

Marcus Aurelius says, "Poverty is the mother of crime". In this case, Adik Syafia Humairah's mother was too busy working to earn a meagre income to support her growing family that she had to stay a night at her colleague's house, perhaps because her workplace is far away and it would be unsafe and uneconomical for her to go back to her house often. The grandfather had to shut his mouth because her daughter or the EVIL must have told him, "Cakap pandai, bagi duit tak nak". He himself may not be self-sufficient, economically.

Adik Syafia Humairah lived in a society that is trapped in the race to earn some more money to pay the bills and lead a normal life. They are just too busy to exercise some conscience, let alone to see each other socially when the women may have to leave the house at nights or early hours working in the factories. The men, well, since we all know you guys chicken out too many a time nowadays, are just too tired to bother, too busy to ponder, too angry to care, too chauvinistic to tell the women it is their responsibility to raise the children when they get their wives to work and share the burden of supporting the family!

Let's see what wonderful this world would be if, if only: -

1. Once Adik Syafia Humairah's father was jailed, Jabatan Penjara Malaysia would get Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat to see this family, evaluating whether the mother is capable of supporting and taking care of the family.

2. If she is not, her children should be placed with reasonable welfare houses. Yes, children are best raised by mothers but when poverty stricken, the first victims would be these innocent children;

3. If she is capable of that, Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat should constantly visit her at home to know if she needs any assistance*.

Like in her case, they should facilitate her to get a divorce from her jailed husband. If it was made easier for her, instead of unproductive legal procedures, she had to resort befriend a man, apparently any man that would take her and too sad, that EVIL was the only man standing to protect her. They should bring in Puteri UMNO to guide her through this rough patch.

Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat should assist her to find a good childcare centre to place her children when she goes out to work.

Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat should help her find someone nearby, through the list of volunteers they have, to care for her children.

*Like my brother's case as I wrote earlier here, I hate it when we tend to equate assistance to moneys when it could be counselling, support and all!

"What is man's greatest bane? His brother man alone"~ Bias of Priene, Maxims

Unfortunately, we lost Adik Syafia Humairah just like that. If only we could hear her crying saying, "How could you allow this to happen to me?"

She is not just a statistics - she is precious life this world had to take away for us to learn that it is vital that we start looking out for each other, to see another child as ours, another woman under the light of our mother, our sister, our wife, another man like our father, our brother.

“Leadership is liberating people to do what is required of them in the most effective and humane way possible” ~ Max Depree

She is a dire reason for us, that we need to do more than just visiting her mother when Adik Syafia Humairah is gone, forever. We need to be on proactive mode. Reactive, which is the motto of our government of the day, is so lame and irresponsible.

We need to get the right people to run those departments that could extend their assistance to them, before they have to resort to Ah Longs and prostitution to feed a family on daily basis, before they have to suffer - physically and emotionally abused, before another precious life is lost and before this cycle of suffering continues to the next generation

I know we can't do that much to help these people but there is one sure-fire way to put a stop to all this. That is to register yourself as a voter and carry your overdue responsibility to Adik Syafia Humairah and many more innocents that we have lost. To vote is not about to thump your chest and say, "I support XY Political Party". A vote is a responsibility done towards promoting responsible and conscientious management of this Ibu Pertiwi and its people.

"In a child’s eyes, we are god. Maybe we should act like one by being compassionate, merciful, protecting, forgiving, providing, wise and loving. The one that sees things through his eyes. The one that listens to him. The one that gives chances for him to be what he wants to be. The one that accepts him for who he is today – dirty, sticky, noisy and mischievous.Indeed, children are precious, priceless and pure. Let them be" ~ Fi-sha

p.s. I love observing people and I see there are many parents out there who are not fit to parents in the first place. Nowadays, people rush to get married for legitimise sexual intercourse, without seeing whether one is fit - financially, mentally, spiritually and emotionally - to be a parent.

p.s.s. Looking at Datuk Seri Dr Rais Yatim's 'continuous observations of everything and anything his Ministry could put his hands into' lately, I wish, really really wish, he is our Minister that looks after Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat.

The Best Birthday 'Present' Ever!

“Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you've found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for” ~ Lawrence Block

5.50 am

"Lunch today?"

"OK".

11.00 am

"Local or western?"

"Dua2 boleh"

12.45 pm

"Can I change my mind? I'll go for chinese"(Gee, tak habis habis indecisive!)

1.00 pm

As we waited to be seated at Madam Kwan's, my eyes caught a sight of one XX-chromosome being, wearing nice-looking grey coloured shirt, standing 20 feet away, smiling at me. He's gorgeous! My heart skipped two beats. My breathing stopped halfway. Till we were showed our way to the table in that full-house restaurant.

I must be crazy but it is so not me doing that. A believer in the quality school of thought, I don't give a damn about the finesse of one's physical attributes. Well, until that Thursday, fortunately! :)

Since I had to catch up with my racing heart beats and intermittent breathing (really), I zoomed in the menu and told the waiter, standing next to me.

"I'll have my char koay teow" (hehhehhehe, my boss kata takde benda lain ke nak makan? I told her i had enough Jap's on Wednesday and Western over the weekend).

"How about your drink Miss?"

I looked up and saw his gorgeous face. "No".

"Boss, alamak rugi tak tengok dia tadi!" (See, I must be really out of my mind confessing such girlish matter to my boss)

Apparently, that gorgeous man is a waiter with Madam Kwan. We had extra special treatment, attentively delivered by him.

My three-quarter crazy mind was busy sizing up my courage, "Should I or shouldn't I ask for his name?".

Argh! Tak tanya pun (hehehheh penakut!). My face was blushing and I didn't dare to look at him when we left our table for good. Double argh!! But I heard him saying outloud, "Thank you and see you again".

After when i got back to the office, I realised I flirted with him and I am capable of flirting after all (though my flirting maneuvers

Meeting him that day was very important to me. Let me confess.

Last month, one Kuwaitian guy telling me how much he likes me, well after I walked him to Petaling Street in a space of 30 minutes talking and asking him a lot of things about his country and people. Apart from another 'confession' he made to me at the end of the 'power walk' (which I should not divulge), he gave me a peck on both cheeks. I was shocked. I blamed myself for being over friendly with him, for simply making him likes me.

Still in tears, I shared that with a dear friend, later that night, about what happened and how 'bad' i have been. A comforting listener he is, he said I cannot blame myself if someone likes me.

That's it!

For the past 18 years, I blame myself if someone likes me (because I know I cannot reciprocate the feelings and it hurts so much to see how 'cruel' I could be breaking hearts over and over again) or I like someone (because I am complicated no one should stay around me for long and for some odd reasons, I tend to see the beauty of complications in a person - that's a recipe of bad romance).

Pablo Picasso once said that "It takes a long time to grow young". How so true! That Thursday, I freed myself from the blaming game and boy, I do feel young. Indeed, it was the best birthday 'present' I ever received from myself.

Talking about 'present', I received another 'present' in a form of a fuss-free friendship with someone, who I deem the most sincere and selfless man I ever known, who thinks I'm the most smart Malay gal out there, who thinks I'm too good to disappoint that he would do anything but hurting my feelings, who writes the most beautiful line I've ever laid my eyes - "You shall always be in my mind" - in a split second, who tolerate my idiosyncratic thinking and behaviour in such subtle way no man ever done before and surprisingly, he is a malay after all!

Thank you God.